In fear of retailiation from F.L.O. operatives, my identity must remain
unknown.  Early this morning I captured two F.L.O. specialists researching
prohibited information.
 
In my bedroom are hundreds of books, magazines, and papers.  None of which
have ever been of interest to the ferrets.  This morning, while chasing
ferret #1, I located under the bed a U.S.  Army Field Manual on Combatives.
This manual contains all sorts of information on hand to hand combat and
strike zones on humans.  The book was open, and ferret #2 was sitting on
it.  I immediately removed the book and placed it on the bed.  Ferret #2
immediately found the book and pushed it off the bed back onto the floor.
Then ferret #3 grabbed the book and dragged it back under the bed.  I
removed ferret #2 from the bed and put the book on the dresser.  Ferret #2
immediatly climbed the bed, jumped to the dresser and knocked the book back
to the floor, where ferret #3 dragged the book back under the bed.  Somewhat
shaken, I recovered the book, put the ferrets back in their cage, then came
to work.
 
None of my ferrets are interested in books except when I'm actively reading
them.  I'm not sure if this has anything to do with a local Airforce Base
being on a week long alertness drill (fake bombs and terrorists and stuff)?
I have found the ferrets playing with my karate gear frequently and have had
to put many of the weapons out of their reach.
 
BE WARNED - Ferrets have begun gathering data on killing/incapacitating
humans.  Take precautions.  Lock away ALL weapons.  Do not let your guard
down.  If all else fails, offer raisins as a form of tribute.  If you have
a cat, offer it as a sacrifice to the ferrets.
 
UNLESS....What if the ferrets are planning an
invasion...of...maybe...California???
[Posted in FML issue 2352]