This email is for reporter Dianne Rossetti and other interested persons.
Dear Dianne Rossetti, et al.
This is Edward Lipinski of the organization Ferrets NorthWest FNW addressing
you in the matter of the upcoming event titled, Ferret Olympics. Hopefully
this information will provide some background for you in writing up this
event, an event that takes place twice yearly: the last Sundays of June and
August.
The simple purpose of producing the Ferret Olympics is to bring to public
view the domesticated house ferret and its owner as together they perform
competitively with other ferrets and their owners for the purpose of
achieving success in the performance of various feats of accomplishment that
are peculiar to the ferret and its interaction with a human being. Ferrets
are very smart, but indepedently minded.
In winning 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place in the various competitions, each ferret
and its owner is awarded a Certificate of FERRET MERIT with the achievement
duly noted on the certificate; notations such as the "Fastest Kisser in the
West," "Fastest Swimmer in the West," Quickest Escapee from a Paper Bag,"
"The Most Artful Dodger in the West," "The Smartest Ferret in the West,"
"The Best Ferret/Owner Costumes," "The Fastest Sprinter in the West," and
on and on.
Depending upon the number of owners attending the Ferret Olympics at
Seattle's Sayre's Park beach at 3808 Lake Washington Blvd (starting at 12
noon), there will be 10 to 12 different consecutively occuring events. Each
ferret owner may enter one or all of his ferrets in all or any event, and if
desired, repeat trials are offered for the ferret hopefully to better his
results.
Of particular importance are the olympic swimming and sprinting events which
are run over a precisely measured 25-feet plus or minus 1/4-inch course.
The time for the ferret to transistion the course is measured to 1/100
second and the time is then converted to speed in the familiar miles per
hour for us and to kilometers per hour for our non-American ferret friends
in Europe and Australia. Each ferret has the opportunity to perform three
trials and its best speed out of three trials is recorded as final.
To date the fastest swimming speed of the domesticated house ferret is
1.74 miles per hour and the fastest sprinting speed is 5.63 miles per hour.
These results are the summary of 46 trials by ferrets and provide us with
insufficient data points at this time to be able to cite the average
swimming and running speed of the house ferret. However, in the near
future, after collecting some 200 or so results we should be able to plot
the distribution of these data to achieve the typical bell-shaped curve,
from which the final projection will be statistically significant and
perhaps worthy of publication in a journal of mustelid science.
For the first time we will be conducting a ferret hearing response test.
This hearing test may determine the time it takes for a ferret to run into
a long tube to investigate the origin of a series of sounds emanating from
a tape recorder at the far end.
Other contests are the two-flag flag pole race in which the ferret and owner
are timed to complete a simple circular course around two upright flag poles
4-feet apart; a licking contest in which the ferrets are timed to complete
the licking up of a thin, 12-inch long stream of sweetened Ferretone on a
plastic sheet, 5 ferrets per heat; a yawing contest wherein the owner is
allowed 30 seconds to get as many yawns as possible out of his ferret; and
perhaps the most popular event, the Ferret Feel-Finder contest: this event
has the ferret owner down on all fours, blindfolded, and searching for his
free roaming ferret within the roped confines of a 50-foot circle on the
grass. Spectators assist the ferret feel-finder by shouting out guidance
with words such as "Cold," "Warm," or "Hot," depending upon the owner's
proximity to his ferret.
There will be several other events in addition to those mentioned above.
There is a minimal $5.00 fee to cover expenses for materials. It is
suggested that people bring a picnic basket and spend the day at Sayre's
park and meet other ferret owners too.
For additional information, please call FNW @ [206] 232-1228, Edw. Lipinski
[Posted in FML issue 2343]
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