To Commander Eli of the Arcadia Division of the FLO
Report from Sgt. Epcot Bogart, Mass Division of Arcadia FLO infiltrators
 
This here's Sgt Epcot now located in the cold sector of Massaferrets.  I had
to change my name to protect my identity.  I arrived yesterday after having
spent several hours in a UFO, but I slept the whole way in order to gather
strength for my new mission.
 
I understand that my new outpost has several FLO operatives already, some of
whom I have not yet met.  Since my neutral human thinks I am a southern
gentleman, she put me in living quarters with female agents Roxanne and
Petunia.  In reality, we are a crack team of Footwear Fighters.  We subdue
all unprotected shoes in our territory, biting and shaking them until they
submit and then we drag them away.  We are also very adept at conquering
socks, especially if they still have feet in them.
 
I understand Arcadia Agent Noel will be arriving shortly in this cold
forsaken territory, and will infiltrate quarters where a number of other FLO
agents reside.  I look forward to meeting legendary FLO operatives Ralph,
Harry, Prince Charming and Merlin who are also stationed in my unit.  I
understand there are also several Feline Units and one very large Canine
Unit in this sector who will need to be dealt with.  Over and out, awaiting
further orders.
[Posted in FML issue 2200]