Howdy,
 
I just wanted to wish my oldest weezil a happy birthday.  Mr. Lugnut Chains
is now 13 years old!  I don't know his exact birthday or age, but I know
he's at least 13 and I figured the beginning of the year was a good place
for a birthday.  He was my first ferret and he's owned me for about 5 years.
He's not as active as he used to be and he's definitely showing his age, but
he still one of the bestest ferrets I've ever known.
 
In honor of his birthday, I wanted to relate an amusing story of a peculiar
habit he used to have.  When I first got him, he would bite women's butts
once.  He never bit men and he would only do once to every new woman he met.
If a new woman was in my house he would take the first chance he could and
bite her butt, hard enough to draw blood.  And then he never bothered her
again.  My SO at the time got her butt bit, and eventually so did all our
female friends.  But he would only do it once per female.  And he never bit
in any other situation.  Except for women's butts, he was one of the
sweetest ferrets you could ever want.  Oddest thing I've seen.  I don't know
if he was giving them his stamp of approval or what.  He has since given up
this strange habit.  Why, I do not know?  But who knows what goes through
the mind of a weezil.
 
-Limejello & the Weezils of Doom
 
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car"
[Posted in FML issue 2180]