Dear Ferreteers,
It is with a heavy heart that I come before you tonight to confess.  In
years to come, Arcadia fert moms & dads will raise their fists to the sky
and curse my name & they will be right, friends, they will be right.  Yet, I
meant no harm.  My crime was innocent, no malice intended.  I remember it as
if it were yesterday (ok, so maybe it was Wednesday, I've had a long
weekend!).
 
There I was, after a long day of cage cleaning, bite training, ferret
hugging, belly scratching, poop checking, kiss giving, belly blowing, ...
basic ferret loving stuff...I was tired, I admit it.  I wasn't thinking.  I
decided to go to bed.  I (prepare yourself, I will tell you all) took my
sneakers off & left them by the bed.  Yes, I did, I admit it publicly.
 
When I woke up, one sneaker was underneath the bed & one was behind the TV.
I didn't think I'd been out of control the night before, but it'd been a
brutal week, so I let it go.
 
When I returned home from work, one sneak was buried in a pillow that had
fallen to the floor, the second has yet to be found, and Stubby was asleep,
head first, in a loafer.  Yes, friends, I created FLO operatives out of the
Arcadia rescues.  With the speed of ferrunication, they all seemed to know
that shoes were fair game.  I have found loafers in my sheets, sneakers in
my sink, and pumps in the underwear drawer.  I have seen Hugh leapfrog over
Bogart to get to a slide, I have seen Sadie fight my Rikki over a sandal.  I
have caught both Boris & Natasha plotting access to my vitamin bottles.
 
Friends, I am so sorry.  When I took in these lovely fosters, I thought
'Aww, aren't they the cutest...' Little did I know.  FLO operatives in
training every one - smart, cunning, and guilty.  When caught & reprimanded
they have heart melting "But, Mommmm" faces...Sarge, are you sure you don't
live in Fla?
 
So, to all my dear future Arcadia adopters, I apologize.  Maybe in a less
careless home, maybe with a more vigilant mom, your sneakers will be safe.
All I wanted to do was sleep barefoot...
 
With a heavy heart,
your guilty friend,
Paula
[Posted in FML issue 2184]