Dear FML'ers,
With all the recent hoo-hah on the FML lately, I keep thinking "We're all
ferret people...can't we all just get along?" It finally occured to me that
maybe we're not all FP's so I devised a short quiz to help you decide:
 
1. When your neighbor tells you his teenage son is causing him major grief
   do you:
    A. Suggest counselling
    B. Suggest neutering him, especially if he would make unattractive
       breeding stock
2. When your boss is being stubborn and intractable do you:
    A. Rub ferretone on his belly and pet his head while he licks it off
       so he'll associate you with good things
    B. Say "Yessir", do what he says, and curse him at Happy Hour
3. When you & your SO decide to move is it because:
    A. The teenagers need rooms of their own
    B. The ferrets need a separate tiled bedroom, with a lockable closet door
4. When you read the Sunday ads are you more interested in:
    A. The sale on Resolve carpet cleaner and paper towels at KMart
    B.  The jewelry sale at Dillards
5. When you shake hands for the first time with someone do you:
    A. Look for puncture marks and bite blisters
    B. Notice the firmness of the grip
6. Do you prefer the scent of:
    A. Musk
    B. Flowers
7. When you hear the phrase 'war dance' do you imagine:
    A. A scene from a bad movie
    B. A happy, noisy, bouncy ball of fur
8.  Do you own at least one squeaky toy and do you know how to use it?
9.  Have you ever forgotten to turn on the TV at night because the
    ferrets are funnier & more interesting?
10. Have you ever cried & been moved to action by a story on the FML?
11. Have you ever referred to your blonde SO as an albino?
12. Can you discuss differences in ferret poop shade, texture, and smell,
    and assign meanings to the variations?
13. Have you ever checked your SO's backside for hair loss - just in case?
14. Do you buy litter by the 60lb bag, and keep rubber gloves, Fantastic
    and Ferretvite in every room, just in case?
15. Do you keep a separate pair of socks just to play with your ferrets?
 
16. Last, and perhaps most importantly, do you find yourself saying,
"Awwww, you sweetie you" to your ferret(s) more than twice a day?
 
Well, there it is. Figure it out for yourself.
 
Best ferret hugs,
Paula
Extra credit question: Can you count in ferret math?
[Posted in FML issue 2169]