Hiya Sergeant Buzz and Sapper Woody,
 
This is Lieutenant Kurt (that's leftenant not lootenant cos I'm English) I
reckons it's time for us British ferrets to stand-up for our rights, we bin
working our paws off chasing bunny wabbits.  Dem rotten peoples in that old
place near the R.  Thames want to stop our doggie slaves from working for us.
 
Our doggie slaves show our humans which wabbit holes have got wabbits livin'
in dem so dat we don' waste our time running 'round empty burrows.  If a
bolting wabbit don't get caught in a purse net our lurcher slaves can
sometimes catch it........
 
One of my humans is goin' to a place called London on 1st March, fousands
and fousands of other peoples will be going as well but us ferrets won't be
goin' cos we might get hurt.
 
Anudder ting that makes me angry is dat some folks don't give der ferrets
proper food - dey still give dem stuff called bwead and milk.  Us British
ferrets like meat and proper ferret chow.
 
Anyway us Lancashire ferrets will be happy to see you Yorkshire ferrets.  We
won't fight no more 'wars of the roses' - we gotta stick together to help
our slaves.
 
Sapper Paw Paw has been practisin' scaling walls, he can get over a 2 ft.
high wall to try to raid the cats' food bowls.  Our human keeps catching him
and puts him back in the playroom.  Sapper Stanley was goin' to be in charge
of our supplies but he keeps eatin' everyting instead of stashing it.
 
Scrap sez she wants to go down to that old building, cos she's perfected the
nip and run form of attack - she's really good at it!  She shoots up a
humans trouser leg, on the inside, until she finds bare leg, nips dem on the
shin and runs like heck.  I told her dat won't help our cause at all but she
sez it's fun and she don't really bite cos she's only playin'.
 
Hi Tater and Odie,
 
Are you gettin' some training in for the 'Lympics in Australia.  The British
Carrotball Team was wond'ring about going to 'merica for extra coaching but
our humans say that we aren't welcome in some places so we're goin' to stay
at home until we's welcome all over 'merica.
 
Lt. Kurt
[Posted in FML issue 2198]