Hi all--
 
When life gets busy and crazy, I find myself gazing with longing at the pile
of 5 ferrets in their pillow-case-turned-hammock and wishing I could shrink
to their size and join them for a cozy warm power-nap.  I've never seen such
a cozy-looking bed, and I'm sure I could tolerate "eau de
sleeping-pile-of-ferrets!"
 
Is it just me, or are there other fuzzy owners out there that have developed
a habit of attempting to pick up gray squirrels?  Not that the squirrels
even come close to allowing this, of course, but being sort of the right
size, and a little bit the right shape, I find I have an urge to grab at
them as they run past me in the yard.  I call it "escaped ferret" instinct.
 
Mort will be one year old this Thanksgiving, and I'm happy to report that
he's become a regular cuddle-butt.  I'd even call him "calm" now and then.
(This is the ferret that I barely managed to touch for 3 months after
bringing him home--he was so hyper and non-cuddly and busy busy busy).  Hang
in there, kit-owners, it takes time, but yes, they will settle and tolerate
being loved on.  As an aside, Mort is still the most "upwardly mobile" of my
5 fur-children--he's always looking *up* and trying to climb up.  He's
graduated to dresser tops, and fell off the *5th* shelf in the pantry the
other day (with pots and pans and an electric mixer landing on top of him
(no, I do NOT encourage this behavior).  Good thing he's relaxed and
flexible, or we'd have been to the vet with multiple fractures this year.
He's always climbing and always falling.  Drives me nuts.
 
(Preface on next comment--anyone subscribing to the belief system described,
smile, it's a joke)
 
I've heard (very off the cuff, may or may not be true) of a religious belief
that allows men who've lived their lives properly to ascend after death each
to his own private planet.  He may invite his wive(s) or not.  But divorced
people, thieves, and homosexuals all look forward to sharing a planet
together, apparently as some version of hell.  My guess is that such
California F&G persons who have *not* lived their lives properly will ascend
after death to the RAINBOW BRIDGE, driven to madness and despair by the
joyful antics of the bane of their existance, FERRETS.  (F&G officials will,
of course, not be allowed to interfere in ferrets afterlives the least
little bit).
 
Finally, a word about feral ferrets--more than one of my 5 can't remember
not to breathe and swallow at the same time.  How an animal with such
limited instinctual common sense could sustain himself in the "wild" is
beyond me.  Silly ferts, shoe is for hooman.
 
--Sheri
 
"Until our paths find us together
 may you forever go in peace."
  --Mike Rayburn (comic entertainer and acoustic rock artist)
[Posted in FML issue 2099]