Sorry about getting two long posts in a single FML; I mistimed it.  This
will be the last major subject.  I'm sorry, but I felt it was so important
I couldn't do it in a single post, but two, because of the length.  In the
three previous posts, I've discussed how ferrets and polecats are similar,
and not-so-similar.  I have briefly shown how ferrets are one of the safer
pets, especially of the domesticated carnivores.  But these issues don't
answer the worst current objection: can self-sustaining feral ferret
populations become established in the USA?
 
One of the dishonest tricks of the CaCa Fish and Gestapo is to show ferrets
are a danger to wildlife, they have redefined what feral means, then don't
make the definition explicit in their papers.  Webster's defines feral as
"1.  Relating to or suggestive of a wild beast, 2.  Not domesticated or
cultivated, and 3.  Having escaped from domestication and become wild."
Art's Dictionary of Ecology says "Describing a domesticated animal that has
reverted back to the wild."   Pennak's Dictionary of Zoology says "1.  Gone
wild, having once been tamed.  2.  Undomesticated, untamed, wild, savage."
Blood and Studdert's Veterinary Dictionary says "Untamed, often used in the
sense of having escaped domesticity and run wild."   Finally, Allaby's
Dictionary of Zoology says "From the Latin Ferus, meaning wild, an adjective
applied to a wild or undomesticated organism.  In particular, the term is
applied to wild strains of an otherwise domesticated species or to an
organism that has reverted back to a wild condition following escape from
captivity, etc.  Some authors make these distinctions: wild species, subject
to natural selection only; domestic species, subject to selection by humans;
and feral species, formerly domestic species which are now, as escapees,
subject once again to natural selection." (I have *many* more)
 
The CaCa F&G defines a feral ferret as one seen without a person attached.
They use *any* sighting of lone ferrets (or even long-tailed weasels for
that matter) as a "feral" sighting.  Go back to the definitions above.
Excluding the parts referring to wild animals or excaped plants, they all
indicate the animal is living in a wild state.  The implication is explicit:
feral animals can support themselves in a wild condition.  Not as explicit
is the idea that they can reproduce and maintain populations, which isn't
required for the definition because a feral can refer to a solitary animal
or a population of thousands.  Prior domestication is required by some for
an animal to go feral.  I disagree; the escaped mongeese and goats on the
Hawaiian Islands constitute feral populations.
 
What the CaCa F&G hasn't done is a study proving ferrets are actually living
in the wild (they have backed off from that lately, claiming instead they
*could* go wild, an allegation that doesn't require a study.  Of course, I
*could* have an affair with Terry Hatcher and Whitney Houston, but what are
my chances?  Allegation can be FAR from the truth, as most intelligent
people realize.  Ooops, that excludes the F&G...).  Understand this; CaCa
Land is a huge state, but it is filled to the rim with boy scouts, farmers,
novice and professional biologists, and tens of thousands of sensitive
yuppie yogart-sucking backpackers tramping down the John Muir Highway with
their 100 lbs of expensive but lightweight gear.  Not to mention the 10s of
1000s of bird watchers combing the wilderness for rare and elusive birds.
So where are the F&G feral ferret sightings?  Along roads, near towns and
reststops, etc., exactly where you would find lost or strayed pets.
(Interestingly enough, the CaCa Fish and Gestapo never applies their feral
ferret definition to dogs or cats, nor to animals with hunting seasons, like
pheasant.  Hummm....stupidity or dishonesty?  You make the call).  Calling a
lost pet feral is sort of like calling a manatee found in the Sahara feral;
lost does not mean survival in *any* sense.
 
Fact is, ferrets *CAN* and *DO* form feral colonies, but *ONLY* when the
conditions are absolutely perfect.  In and near some European cities, feral
ferrets have been reported, although many of the reports are sightings that
suffer from the same problems as with the so-called CaCa Land sightings
(they could be lost or stray pets).  Feral ferrets were reported on San Juan
Island, off Washington state, but they have long since vanished, even though
ferrets are commonly kept as pets (and lost) today.  Some Italian islands
have been reported to have feral ferrets, but only alligations have been
reported, not actual sightings, or populations.  Aside from a few documented
feral populations in Europe, the only lasting and reliable place where
ferret have established a lasting a successful feral population is New
Zealand.
 
Understand, a feral animal is different from a feral population.  The CaCa
Fish and Gestapo are arguing ferrets can form feral POPULATIONS and
consequently destroy native wildlife.  They have to say this because a
single feral animal is insignificant and cannot cause significant damage to
a rare or endangered prey population.  Well, unless the prey population is
pinned up, like at a zoo, and the ferrets sneak in, like wild dogs, to kill
them indiscriminately (This is well documented to have occured many times at
USA zoos; wild dogs have killed scores of zoo animals) I probably have two
or three ferrets which could live a couple of weeks in the wild.  I have one
that could probably live a couple of months.  That is long enough to a
single animal to be considered feral.  But is it a population?  A population
is enough animals living close enough together to breed enough recruits to
keep the population minimally stable, while at the same time finding enough
food to eat, escaping predation, and fighting the effects of disease.  Any
population that cannot maintain population stability will ultimately die
out.  So what the Fish and Gestapo are saying is, if pet ferrets are allowed
in California, they will escape and survive in sufficient numbers so as to
form and maintain breeding populations, all the while, stealing a niche from
successfully established native predator species.  Are our ferrets good, or
what?
 
In the next and last post, I will show that the CaCa Fish and Gestapo either
studied biology in 14th Century Medaeval Rome or got their degree from
Jeffery Dalmer School of Butchery and Deceit.  Specifically, I will discuss
excatly why ferrets did not, have not, and will not form self-sustaining
populations in the USA.
 
Bob C and 20 MO Fuzzbutts
[Posted in FML issue 2086]