>From:    Tim Theriault <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: dying ferrets.
>I am writing in response to all the people who have been sharing their
>tear-jerking stories about ferrets dying.  While I do sympathize with you
>all, I really don't think this is the place to put your stories.  I
>subscribed to this mailing list in the hopes of finding people to talk to
>whenever my ferrets were sick, had a weird illness, etc.
 
As one of those guilty of posting just such a message, I am terribly
offended by your attitude.  Sharing your life with a ferret or any other
animal companion is more than just talking about cute things, or illness.
It is also about sharing your grief and pain when the end comes.  You should
know that when I posted about Boris' death recently, I was innundated with
e-mail from people on the FML sharing their condolences and well-wishes.  I
tried to respond to each and every one of them (and hope I succeeded).
Because all of those wonderful people shared my grief, I was better able to
deal with saying goodbye to a cherished friend and companion.
 
The FML is about the whole ferret experience -- the funny antics, the way
ferret math strikes, the unusual behaviours, the strange illnesses, shared
experiences, and even the loss of our fuzzy friends.  Through the FML we
reach out to create a community of people sharing a common bond and the
discussion of our shared joys and sorrows strengthens that community, rather
than diminishes it.  Quite honestly, anyone subscribing to the FML for
medical information only is in the wrong place.  The FML is about the whole
ferret experience -- there is no way to leave out one aspect without
diminishing the whole.
 
I was wonderfully lucky to share Boris' death with him, my other ferret
companions, and my ferret friends around the world ( I received condolences
from as far away as Australia, and Europe).  Somewhere some people have
gotten the idea that death should be hush-hush and whispered.  The passing
of a beloved part of our lives is not a dirty or shameful secret to be
relegated to a separate chat room.  It is a natural fact of life.  In
sharing that experience, we help ourselves through the grieving process and
we also help others by letting them know that it is acceptable to grieve
over the loss of a pet.  In sharing the passing of a loved one, we are able
to purge our grief and celebrate the life of that loved one.
 
The thing that never ceases to amaze me is that our animal companions seem
to have a better grip on compassion and humanity than many humans do.
Boris' ferret friends not only made his passing easier by sharing their love
with him, they instinctively included me in their compassion when it was
needed most.  Thank goodness that most of the FML folks have learned that
lesson from their ferrets.
 
F. Scott Giarrocco
[Posted in FML issue 1895]