There are a few things that just don't seem to be available for ferrets and
their owners which I think would be really handy.  Here's some of them:
 
1) Ferret-off spray.  Ferret repellent that you could spray, say, inside the
   couch, or other areas you wish to keep them away from.  Long lasting,
   with a smell undetectable to humans.
 
2) Electronic ferret finder.  A collar equivilent to those little key chains
   you can whistle for, or press a remote button to set it off.  We've
   definately got the technology...
 
3) Hair club for ferrets.  Bound to be popular with adrenal sufferers.  In
   the meanwhile owners can use the chia-ferret method:
      a) Dampen the affected areas.
      b) Sprinkle with grass seed.
      c) Mist several times daily to maintain a moist environment.
 
   In just a few days your ferret will have a lush full coat again!  (OK, so
   it'll be green.  Pick, pick, pick!) Once it reaches the desired length,
   stop misting.  Let the new 'hair' dry out.  Bleach/paint/dye to match the
   rest of the coat.  It is recommended that the ferret be kept away from
   cats and other critters that might be inclined to nibble during the
   growing-in period.
[Posted in FML issue 1902]