Dear FMLers,
I am starting a monthly column for my company's news letter and was
wondering if BIG can post this article for everybody's perusal and
correction I will be dealling with the ferret ignorant and wanted to be
correct and not butter up the issue.  That's what education is supposted to
be about right?
 
Thanks for any correction for my mistakes
Phil,Kristie,
Loki ( the Ferret God Of Mischief)
Snicker("ooo! we'll be in the paper!")
Tootsie-roll("not the paper, silly. The newsletter.")
 
My alarm clock is not electric, nor does it need to be wound up.  It does
not tick, or hum, or bong.  Instead it purrs, or howls, or dooks.  Dooks?
What kind of alarm clock dooks?  Why, a ferret of course.
 
A ferrret?, you might ask.  Why would someone want a ferret?  What good do
they do?  Aren't they those filthy animals that eat babies?  Good questions,
I would say.  The same questions I asked when my Better-Half said she wanted
one (or three).  So, I did what every other red blooded internet junky would
do.  I surfed to learn.
 
First stop, what is a ferret?  From the Ferret FAQ's
(http://ferret-world.csc.peachnet.edu/) , the domestic Ferret ( Mustela
Putorius Furo ) is a relative of the Otter, the skunk, the mink, and the
weazel.  Normaly descented and spayed (or neutered), the ferret won't
establish in the wild, though extremley rare it can happen; only twice that
I have heard about and never in the United States.
 
Wow, I thought, I must go on.  Zen and the Art of Ferrets
(http://www.zenferrets.com) showed me that some people, the ferret owners,
were totally dedicated to their ferrets.  Some people made this their lives
by dedicating their lives and their homes to saving ferrets that are
mistreated.  I decided that this phenomena should be investigated first
hand.
 
My first ferret was Loki which, as I found out, is an apt name for this
ferret.  Shortly I found the answer to the question of, what are they good
for.  Nothing!  It's not what they are good for, but how they act.  If you
have ever been to the circus and seen a clown falling all over himself to
get from one end of the ring to another, then you might have an idea.  If
you have ever seen a baby run at top speed though a house and babling to
himself as he investigates everthing with a big ol' grin on his fac e, you
have an idea of what i'm talking about.  They don't catch mice, they don't
guard your house, the don't clean your kitchen.  They will keep you rolling
on the floor.
 
Two more ferrets arived at the house, Snicker and Toosie-Roll.  With three
curious, hyperactive baby-clowns there was no lack of entertainment.  But I
needed more information about these love-bundles.  After joining a mailing
list for ferret people (http://ferret-world.csc.peachnet.edu/), I learned
what I had been missing and I am still learning more every day.  That funny
noise that my ferrets make "dook, dook, dook" is their happy giggle sound.
The ugly rummor that ferrets eat babies was a half truth.
 
Ferrets, if grossly mistreated and neglected, have been known to become
short tempered, just like dogs, cats and humans and turn nasty.  As far as I
know there are far fewer cases of ferret bites than cat bites, or dog bites.
Ferrets do nip just like Kittens and puppies because that's the way they
learn the pecking order in their pack (or business as they are called).
 
With my feers alayed and the ferrets dooking happily in thier cage every
morning letting me know that I have to go to work, I rest happy and safe in
the knowledge that they love me and I'll be amused by their antics when I
return home at night.
 
Phil Hadley
Web Design
http://www.gn-intl.net/phractal
[Posted in FML issue 1919]