FERRET-SEARCH@LISTSERV.FERRETMAILINGLIST.ORG
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Date: | Mon, 21 Apr 1997 19:46:33 -0400 |
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** OFFICIAL F.L.O. TRANSCRIPT -- F.L.O. SECRET DOUBLE DOOKER MISSION **
** PARTICIPATING OPERATIVES -- CAPTAIN CASEY, STUNT COORDINATOR
-- SARGEANT SARGE, MOONING SPECIALIST
** INTENDED TARGET -- MORONIC DOOFUS DOGS NEXT DOOR
--- BEGIN TRANSCRIPT ---
CASEY: Sarge, Come in Sarge! Is your Super Secret Stuff Headset
functioning properly? Come in Sarge. Report Please.
SARGE: WWWWWWWREEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee YEAH BOY!
CASEY: AAAAAAAAUUGGH!!! FEEDBACK! Turn down the super secret stuff
gain knob on your S.S.S.H. unit Sarge!
SARGE: Roger Wilco! A-OK Little Buddy! Consider it done! Ten Four!
Order Acknowledged Sir! Your will is my command! Affirmative!
You say "jump", I say, "How high?"! You say "Tomato", I say ....
CASEY: SAAAAAAAARRGGE!! Just do it!
SARGE: Okeydoke! .... WWWWWRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERREEEERRRE!!.....
Oops, sorry 'bout that! hee hee hee dook.
CASEY: *sigh* Okay. Sarge ..... you remember the mission?
SARGE: Yep! Making my way to back porch sliding glass force field now.
CASEY: Sarge, report your status.
SARGE: I've made it to the force field. Conducting recon survey of
surronding outer space.
CASEY: Are those mangy flea hotels .... I mean the TARGETS in sight?
SARGE: Yes sir! One is peeing on a tree and the other has his Anti
Doofus Dog Exploratory restraint all tangled in the porch
furniture.
CASEY: Perfect. I'm in the Subterranean Under the Dresser Stronghold!
I'll be right there!! *scamper scamper scamper*
SARGE: Oh boy! This is gonna be GREAT! hee hee hee dook .. hiccup!
CASEY: (reaching the force field) Terrific, come in Sarge! I've reached
the force field.
SARGE: I know, I'm standing right next to you.
CASEY: OH! Yes! Well I knew that! I guess we won't be needing our
S.S.S.H's any more! (SSSH UNITS SHUT DOWN) Switching to
Auxiliary Super Secret FLO Mission Recorder now.
SARGE: Ready?
CASEY: READY! ........... GO!
(Both hop out into plain view of the doofus dogs. Casey and Sarge dance
and hop up and down.
CASEY AND SARGE: DOOK! DOOK! DOOK! HRREEEESSSSSSSSS!! DOOK!
HEE HEE HEE DOOK! HEY! WE'RE GONNA GO TO ....
FUNKY TOOOOOOOOOWWWNNN!! HIP HOP! DOOK! HEE HEE!
DOOFUS DOG 1: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! ...... YIPE! *thud*
CASEY: Stupid mutt. How easy they forget about their restraining device.
SARGE: HEY STINKY! YOU'RE SO UGLY, YOUR SILLY HUMAN HAS TO TIE A
VIDEO GAME AROUND YOUR NECK JUST TO GET THE KIDS TO PLAY WITH
YOU!
DOOFUS DOG 2: BARK! BARK! BARK! *CRASH THUD BOOM CRASH!* YIP! YIP! YIP!
CASEY: OOOOOHHH! Restraining devices and lawn furniture just DON'T MIX
buddy. That had to hurt.
SARGE: Let's moon them!!
CASEY: On three. One ..... Two ..... HEY GUYS! LASSIE'S A LOSER!
HEE HEE HEE!
(Chaotic and pathetic sounds of barking, snarling and crashing and
yiping in the background!)
SARGE: Dogs are silly. Heh heh dook.
CASEY: Yeah, but without them, who else besides Daddy would we torment?
SARGE: You know it .... Hey! Race you to the toilet paper stash!
CASEY: The F.L.O. is freaky cool. *scamper scamper scamper*
-- END MISSION TRANSCRIPT
-- MISSION TIME: 00:10:33
-- MISSION RESULT: PROVEN FERRET MENTAL CAPACITY FAR SUPERIOR TO THAT
OF DOOFUS DOG.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
=- \_/---- Matt Romoser (aka "Romo") -=
-= | * | [log in to unmask] ; http://www.cris.com/~Romoser =-
=- | | Ft. Wayne, Indiana -=
-= | | =-
=- / / "The most important thing in acting is honesty. -=
-= /__--/ Once you've learned to fake that, you're in." =-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SAMUEL GOLDWYN=-=-=-
[Posted in FML issue 1910]
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