Hi FML!  Sorry I haven't told on dad (You know, that Mo' Bob guy) for a
while, but I've had some health problems and got behind at school.  I don't
think they will be a problem with my running, but I AM out of shape, so I
have been making dad get up at 6am every morning to run with me.  Well, he
rides his bike and complains that vampires don't have to watch the sun rise.
Just to let you know, I decided I would run for the University of Missouri
next year.  Dad said I would break hearts.
 
My ferret story about dad is sort of related to me as well.  I think dad
told you that I had some health problems this year and spent some time in
the hospital.  I was in there a long time, and dad spent almost every night
with me until the wee hours in the morning.  Mostly we played cards, but
sometimes we would play Risk (Don't EVER play Risk with Dad.  He carved his
own playing pieces from bone.  He says the bone came from the people he
beat.  He takes the game seriously).  Still, I got VERY bored, so dad
decided I needed some air time.
 
The next day, he skipped school, and checked me out of the hospital and took
me to the park.  The weather was weird.  Remember when it would be freezing
one day and sunny the next?  Well, this day it was about 60 degrees, which
compared to the 20s we had earlier that week, was absolutely toasty.  Dad
brought some of his ferrets too.  As I said, it was warm, so dad, being the
slug he is, fell asleep in the grass, with four of his ferrets tied to him
by their harnesses.  I MIGHT have dozed off as well, but not as long as the
master slug.  When I woke up, I saw my dad's hair moving.  If you didn't
know, he has hair that is really long.  Well, in the back and on the sides,
but his forehead seems to be getting taller.  He denies it, and says that he
has so much testosterone that hairs are sprouting out of his forehead which
makes it look like the rest of his hair is receeding.  Don't believe him.
 
Like I said, his hair was moving.  Then I saw some kind of animal looking
through his hair right at me.  I thought it was a mole or something, but
still, I accidentally screamed.  It suprised me.  The scream suprised dad,
and he shot straight up to see what was wrong, and the animal got caught in
his hair and was dragged up with him.  Dad must have thought he was being
attacked by aliens, because he started to spin in circles to catch the
animal.  He was once bitten really bad on the ear by a mink, so I think he
was reliving the moment.  In the meantime, the leashes were wrapping around
dad's legs, and he yelled for me to grab him so he wouldn't fall on the
ferrets.
 
Well, I didn't want to get to close, so I just grabbed his hand to steady
him.  About that time, the animal came out of dad's hair, and fell in front
of dad, but didn't make it to the ground, because it was still stuck somehow
to dad.  About this time, dad started making some hideous noises.  I thought
he was going to die, then I realised he was laughing.  It seems the animal I
saw was Moose, not a mole at all.  What happened was when dad was asleep,
Moose and the others started digging holes under him, and Moose dug one
under dad's neck and came up under his hair.  I saw the dirt pile and the
dirty nose and thought it was something besides Moose.  When we looked back
to where dad was sleeping, we saw each ferret had dug a little hole beside
or under dad.
 
Dad went out to California for a few days to see Grandad, who went back into
the ICU again, so if you are waiting for a message, I guess you will just
have to wait.  He is staying with his brother David, who thinks computers
are the spawn of the devil, but dad says that is just because he has Windows
rather than a Mac.  Dad bought David an AOL account for his birthday, so he
might be able to read this before he gets home.  HA!
 
You would think that dad would be really sad with Grandad being so ill, my
hospital thing, Buddy dying, and his friend that died, but he just says he
has seen and felt worse.  The only time I saw him sad was when I first went
in the hospital, and when he took Buddy to his vet friend for the autopsy.
He said all his FML friends kept "bothering" him with e-mails and jokes to
cheer him up, and were good friends when he needed it, and never complained
when he didn't write back because he was so busy.  (well, he DOES have other
friends.  One really kooky guy and an his even crazier wife.  They always
seem to come over when dad is cooking BBQ or to watch baseball.  Don't
MENTION baseball to dad.  Fair warning).  All I know is if it wasn't for all
the time he spent with me, I would have never got better, and you guys
helped him so he could help me.  Thanks FML!!!
 
Elizabeth, daughter of the balding Mo' Bob, and the next Missouri track
champion.
 
I love you dad!
[Posted in FML issue 1869]