>From:    Rick Beveridge <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: More ferret questions (not too serious)
>- How many times will they reuse a 'corner tray' before it has to be
>  cleaned.?
 
0 to 1.  If there's poop in the box, it cannot be reused or can only be
reused once, but only if the situation is desperate and there's a favorite
blankie or toy in the other favored corner.
 
>- How many times will they use a hidden corner?
 
A hidden corner is never too full.  A proper corner is full upon first use.
A hidden corner is a secret treasure, and it's a game to the ferrets to see
how big that pile will get before silly hoomans notice.  They win if the
corner mess extends into the room, or peeks out from behind the desk, etc.
 
>- How far can a ferret spit when they are spitting out medicine?
 
It's not a matter of stream.  It's more matter of spray.  If they stain your
shirt, shorts, socks and make you have to wash your hair, they win.
 
>- What's the difference between a ferret kiss and the licking that takes
>  place just before the chomp?
 
The only difference is whether the "chomp chemical" in the brain is released
or not.  The "chomp enzyme" is always released if the ferret is kissing a
human's forearm.
 
>- How long will a ferret stand in front of the fridge before taking the hint
>  that you will not open it for them.
 
Until another door that is usually closed to them is opened.
 
>- Who do ferrets jump in your bed and get comfy when they know you have to
>  get up and go to work?
 
It's a conspiracy.  They don't want you to work, and they don't understand
why youdo not stay home all the time with them--living life in a cycle of
play/eat/nap/play/eat/nap.  Work?  Why do you have to work, raisins are
cheap.
 
Now for more questions:
 
-Why is does the water on the tray beneath the refrigerator taste better
 than any other water in the world?
-Why are pots and pans in the drawer under the stove when it would so much
 more comfortable in there if they were removed?
-Where, exactly, is the world beneath the carpet and why do they think it's
 such an exciting place?
-Why is it always necessary to bite a sleeping dog or cat?
-Why is it better to drag the blankies out of the cage and under the couch
 for nap time?  Wouldn't it be easier to just sleep in the cage?
-They don't like their cage much, but why do they act so possessive and
 upset when you clean it?
-What is so wonderful about Daddy's hats that they're all hidden under the
 couch?
-What's the attraction to wet bare feet?  Do they taste better?
-How come the living room carpet is so much more pleasureable to scratch
 than the carpet on the scratching post?
-Why is a whole lake so much fun when a bathtub is torture?
-Why do they try so hard to get out the front door, but when put on a leash
 outside refuse to leave the front door and actually scratch to get back in?
-Why is every closed door an insult?
 
Nuff for now.
 
--Sheri
[Posted in FML issue 1987]