Hi ererbody.  My name is Herschel von Seidig, although most folks just call
me Hershey.  My Mom says its cause I'm America's favorite chocolate boy.
Anywho, Mom is letting me borrow her pooter sos I can tell you all about the
terrifying/embarrassing/funny thing that happened to me yesterday.
 
See, recently I've been being Mom's best buddy.  This is cause bout 2 months
ago she was gettin kinda upset cause a lot of us kids weren't using the
litter box and were messin on the floor.  So, she put a tube of NutriCal
near each pan, and whenever she sees someone using the pan she gives em a
treat.  Well, I's a pretty smart boy, an I loves NutriCal.  Sos I been
staying close to Mom, so I can make sure I have her attention when I get in
the pan.  Also, I been givin her lots of extra kisses, cause I think she is
real nice.
 
Anyway, most mornings in our house, Pop gets up first, and lets us ferts out
of our cages.  When he does, I like to go back and get up on the bed and
wake Mom up with kisses.  But the last week or so, Pop has been closing the
bedroom door, so we can't get in.  Now I was gettin kinda worried that maybe
Mom was sick or sumptin.  My Mom has problems wit her breathin sometimes.
Pop says she's lergic ans got asthma, whatever that is.  I jus know
sometimes if she gets a cold she gets real sick an hasta stay in bed.  Pop
won't let us go in an kiss her and play wif her when she is sick.  So, I was
worryin, even though after Mom gets up she don't sneeze or coff or nuttin.
 
Well, yesterday Pop didn't shut the bedroom door tight, so I was able to
push it open.  I was so happy, an I ran over and climbed up on the bed to
kiss Mom.  But, when I got up on the bed I saw the most terrifying thing I
ever saw.
 
Mom was lyin in bed asleep, but there was this thing clamped on her face,
and it was wrappin itself around her head.  It had a long tube that came off
it and went to a black box that was makin a hummin kinda noise.  At first I
jus stood there in horror, but then I realized I had to save Mom.  I was
afraid that thing would suck off Mom's face or sumptin.  So, I ran over to
her and started dookin like crazy and grabbed hold of the thing an tried to
pull it off Mom's face.  Course, all the commotion work Mom up.  At first
she said my name, and sounded kinda angry.  Then, she sat up and looked
around an started laffin real hard.  I looked around, and Mo and my brudder
ET were also on the bed jus starin at me.  An I knew they were going to make
fun of me for doin sumptin wrong.  Well, wif Mom laffin, an them standin
there, I suddenly felt real embarrassed.  Then, Mom reached up an took the
thingy off her face, and she picked me up and started kissin me.  She tol me
that she knew I was only trying to protect her, and that I was a good boy.
Now I didn't feel so embarrassed, but I was real confused.
 
Well, Mom stayed in bed for a while and played wif us, an then she got up to
take a shower.  So, while she was in the shower, I asked Nikki the kitty if
she knew what that thing was.  For a kitty, Nikki is ok.  She thinks she is
a fert, too.  An she sleeps in a special chair in the bedroom, so she knows
about stuff that goes on when we are in our cages.
 
Well, Nikki said that Mom's vet had found out that when she sleeps, she
sometimes stops breathing, and that the thing was a machine to help her sos
she wouldn't stop breathin.  So, it turns out it was a good machine, and
wasn't hurting Mom at all.  So, then the whole thing seemed pretty silly.
But the neat thing is, now Mom calls me her little Protecter, and gives me
extra treats.
 
Anywho, thas my story.  I hope you enjoyed readin it.
 
              Your friend,
                      Hershey
Danee DeVore
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[Posted in FML issue 1832]