****Tale of the Big Move, Part Three: The Problems Begin...****
<Trouble again>
So there we are, at the rest stop on the turnpike.  Mommy had finally been
all calm about driving that big, noisy, vibrating, bumpy beast, but when
Daddy got off at the rest stop she got all stressed again.  She was sure
there was something wrong with the animals!  So I watched her as she walked
over to Daddy's car.  He was hunched over the back of the front seat,
looking in the back where all the animals were.  Even I got a little
worried, I mean, I know I say that those cats are stupid, but actually I
really like to play with Boomer and Bam-Bam, they don't pick on me, we play
fun games together and they keep me from being lonely since my cagemate died
last fall.  And the other ferrets, hey, I like them too, even though I fight
with them all the time!  Mom walked over, cautiously, and asked Daddy
quietly, "What's wrong??" Daddy turned around, and with this strange look on
his face, said...."I'm going to throw those cats out the &*?#@($ window of
the %*&@#$ car!!!!!" Mommy sighed relief, then started to laugh.  "What's
wrong?" she asked.  "They won't stop howling!  They're driving me NUTS!"
Daddy said.  So mommy said why don't they switch, she wouldn't mind the cats
crying, she was calmer now.  "I'm not driving that truck, are you crazy?!?"
Daddy exclaimed.  Mommy said that she meant, switch the cats with us
ferrets.  "YEA!" I screamed!  No more truck!  Come on, daddy, say yes!  Koto
heard this idea, and she felt like me, too.  A nice quiet car!  Yes!  But no
such luck.  Daddy just couldn't bear to be apart from his precious Bam-Bam.
Hmmph.  No question who the favorites are in his mind!  So, Daddy went into
the rest stop to get a drink, mommy said that she would stay with all of us.
So what does mommy do?  She pulls out the camera, and starts taking pictures
of all of us suffering!  People must have thought she was nuts, taking
pictures at a rest stop, in the dark, in the car and truck.  Daddy came out,
and mommy took a picture of daddy walking to the car.  He asked what she was
doing, she said someday we'd look back and remember this fondly.  He just
rolled his eyes.
 
So off we went again, me and Koto still in the truck.  The only good news
was that mommy snagged some new tapes from daddy's car, and finally we got
to listen to some new music.  Tori Amos was the voice that carried us the
last hour and a half of the trip, it wasn't too bad.  That was certainly
better than if we rode with daddy and listened to Metallica!  Oh well.  I'm
being told that I'm hogging the story, so now Sassy wants to talk.
 
<Sassy> So at this point, I was already at the new house.  The trip wasn't
too bad, Ricky is still sick so I took care of him on the ride.  Grandma's
car was nice, but she listened to that classical music stuff.  And she
drives really fast!  The cats that were in our car were soooooo funny.  Man,
why would anyone want cats?  Shamus was in one carrier, and Loki and Misty
were in a really really big one.  Loki is a lard butt.  He's 20 pounds and
slovenly fat.  Misty is a HUGE wimp, even when we lived at the old place she
only came out when nobody was home.  If she walked into the room and mommy
or daddy stood up anywhere in her view, she took off.  Such a wimp--nobody
can even pet that dumb cat.  Anyway, there was no crying in our car, but
that's just because those cats were literally paralyzed with fear.  I
actually thought Loki and Misty were dead!
 
So we got to the house, and grandma took us out of the car.  Our cages were
still on the truck, so we had to stay in our little carriers.  Grandma let
the cats out, and they took off in all directions, but with no furniture
there was no place to hide.  They looked so stupid, they were walking all
crouched low to the ground.  Grandma felt bad for me and Ricky, so she let
us out in our new ferret room for a romp for a while.  She got us some food
and water, and she gave some to Spaghetti, who was still in his carrier.  He
was really mad that she didn't let him out too, but that was good cuz last
week he really beat up Ricky, even gave him a cut on the head and on the
side of his face.  Grandma did let Spaghetti out later, but she was nice
enough to put me and Ricky in the huge carrier that Loki and Misty were in
in the car.  We waited several hours, and no mommy or daddy.  I wasn't
scared at all, cuz I knew mommy wouldn't leave Ricky alone sick overnight.
Spaghetti cried, though.  He's not a happy ferret, and when he gets sad he
cries real tears.  He's had a bad last 6 months, so I won't make fun of him.
Finally, we heard this VAROOM and then a big loud CRACK!  and we heard mommy
pulling into the driveway.  Don't know what she hit, but it sounded like she
hit a tree.... tee hee...hope she's okay!  I was all excited cuz her arrival
meant CAGES!  LITTERBOXES!  BEDDING AND HAMMOCKS!  TOYS!  Yea!  So she and
Daddy came in, and I heard daddy complaining about the house from the first
minute he got there (he'd never seen the house before).  He went off to look
for the cats, but mommy came right up to see us.  Oh well, she brought all
of the other ferrets in too, I thought it might just be us from now on!
Then I noticed, no cages!  No toys, litter or hammocks!  "Mommy's tired,
guys.  I'll bring in the cages after I get some dinner." NOOOOOOO!  Mom,
Wait!  Don't go.....MOOOOMMM!  She was gone.  How mean!  So what if she was
hungry!
 
Then I heard daddy say, Where's Misty and Loki?  Mommy said they were
probably hiding.  Daddy said that there was no place to hide, where were
they?  He started to get scared, so mommy said she'd look for them.  It only
took a minute to find the big 20 pound fraidy cat.  He had squashed his fat
belly behind the toilet and wouldn't move.  Daddy said he was stuck, no way
could he fit back there.  They pulled and pushed, and they couldn't get him
out.  Finally mommy said leave him there, if he got back there he could
certainly get out.  Daddy said he had to go to the bathroom, mommy said it
wouldn't hurt him.  From the kitchen mommy heard the toilet flush, and then
a huge HOWL from Loki.  Hee hee...guess the noise of the flush scared him....
 
So then Misty was still missing.  Mommy was really getting scared, there
were just no other places that she could be!  Daddy was saying that mommy's
mom must have let them out, but mommy said that even if the doors were wide
open, Misty has a fear of the outdoors and wouldn't have gone out.  So they
searched.  They looked behind the fridge, no room that she could be there.
Under counters.  In the basement, even though the door to it was closed.
Closets.  Corners.  Then they saw it... The Fireplace.
 
Well, mommy's saying that due to FML length limits, I have to wait till
tomorrow to finish this one...so stay tuned to find out what happened next
in The Big Move, part 4!
[Posted in FML issue 1962]