(i just hope nobody's forwarding these to the real world. the men with the
white coats will come for me soon)
 
How well do YOU know your ferrets?  Just give them this revealing quiz to
find out what personality type your ferret REALLY has!  Choose the best
possible answer(s) to each question:
 
1) Which does your ferret prefer: a) raisins dipped in Petromalt, or
   b) dried cranberries drenched in Linatone?
2) Would your ferret rather bite: a) toes just removed from a sweaty
   shoe, or b) the wet ankles of someone who's just stepped out of the
   shower?
3) A(n) _________ is a tasty between-meals treat: a) insole b) eraser
   c) rubber band
4) If my owner puts yet another potted plant out of my reach, I will:
   a) poop in the middle of the floor, b) eat a hole in his/her
   underwear/socks.
5) Carpet ______.: a) covers important subterranean tunnels
   that lead to the raisin mines! dig for our freedom! dig! b) is
   for pooping on.
6) The best way to get into the garbage is: a) by toppling it over on
   top of myself, b) jumping down into it from atop a chair or countertop.
7) It wasn't ME who caused the cat to screech, it was: a) a flea,
   b) alien ESP, c) a big, scary mouse.
 
Use the following point system to total up your ferret's score and see
what type of personality your ferret has:
 
1) a: 0 b: 1                    5) a: 1 b: 0
2) a: 1 b: 0                    6) a: 0 b: 1
3) a: 1 b: 0 c: 0               7) a: 0 b: 0 c: 1
4) a: 0 b: 1
 
0-9: You have a genuine Mustela furo putorius!  Congratulations!
Expect mysterious disappearances of small, portable items and a
food-consumed/poop-produced ratio that just doesn't quite make sense.  You
may find yourself tucking your pants into your socks and putting your shoes
on top of your sink countertop.  However, if you find yourself absentmindedly
picking up your ferret and putting them on the counter so that they can
reach your shoes more easily, you should send your phone number and address
to POTPIE, c/o Melissa.  We...er, the world needs more people like you.
 
Authored by Potpie: "Modern Ferret is for ferret owners!  Where's the
magazine for FERRETS?  I want *real* centerfolds - like of TOES!  Yeah!
Uncensored, unsocked, unfettered TOES!"
 
 ___ Melissa Litwicki __ [log in to unmask] ___
 By the whole newsgroup devoted tennis showing
     it after scarfing fork and laughters
[Posted in FML issue 1832]