Hello everyone,
First off thank you all for responding so quickly to my request for help.  I
thought I would share my results so far with the rest of the FML.  Many of
you suggested that I make the kitchen a ferret free zone altogether since
not only stoves, but also refridgerators, dishwashers and various kitchen
appliances could pose a threat to our beloved creatures.  Unfortunately that
was not an option for me since my kitchen is completely open, not even a
doorway without a door to seal off.
 
I went to the hardware store and purchased a screen door repair material
which is made out of fiberglass (they had metal as well, but someone warned
me that the sharp edges could hurt my ferrets after I cut it).  The
fiberglass seems strong and I hope it will stand up to the scratching and
biting which my little terror, Monkey, is sure to subject it to.  I tried
attaching it with screws as many of you suggested, but as soon as I turned
on the drill the mesh would get all twisted up in the screw AND rip the
screen.  So it was back to the duct tape (which I thought was called Duck
tape until last week) for me.  I attached the screen to the hole as securely
as I could before bringing out Monkey to test my work.
 
***Here's where this becomes a cute ferret story****
 
So at first I'm wondering how I'm ever going to get Monkey to start tearing
at the screen on command, in front of the one human in our household who
ever punishes her for such actions.  I should have known better!  Monkey
knows no fear and is firmly convinced that the world belongs to her.  I set
her down and she IMMEDIATELY starts tearing into my work.  She scratches,
she chews, she nuzzles her head inbetween the duct tape and the screen.  She
grabs the screen with her teeth and backs up with all her might (pretty
effectively begining to pull it off).  I realize that I didn't do a good
enough job so I gently set her aside and resume taping.  Well, I swear she
sits down right next to me and WATCHES exactly how I'm attaching it.  I
start to worry that she's gaining valuable information, but I tell myself
I'm being silly.  2 minutes later she's gone and out of the corner of my eye
I see her hauling the roll of screen off to the other room.  Now I am
convinced that she is taking it off to the ferret labs to determine a way to
break through this new barrier.  I rescue my roll and 2 minutes later I see
her taking the duct tape!  Now I put her away and decide to double screen
the stove.  I seal off a larger area (that is actually about 2 inches
infront of the hole), but I fear that she will get through this too.  I will
wait and see, but I have a feeling that next week I will be back at the
hardware store.
 
Who said it's possible to ferret proof a stove?  And what other fairy tales
have they written?
 
Love and Dooks to all,
 
Rebecca
P.S. I will be at this e-mail address for a little longer than I thought.
I am also temporarily receiving the FML :) :) :)
 
PP.S.  Does anyone know any reason why Fiberglass screen would be bad on the
back of the stove??
[Posted in FML issue 1779]