I am very touched by the huge response I received to my request for advice
on the biter.  Many people offered tricks for handling biting behavior.
Although I've tried many of them with Mithril already, there were a few new
ones.  I wonder if any of these are in the FAQ?
 
I am much less angry than I was when I wrote in on Monday.  I have
reconciled with Mithy and she is her usual normal self lately (no dementia).
I have fallen off enough horses to know I should have got back on and rode
Mithy around the room before going to bed that night.
 
Anyway, I thought I'd summarize some of the responses I got, as it may
interest some people.
 
First, almost everyone agreed that if I felt euthanasia was the only safe
option for my family and my sanity, that I was not a monster to choose that
alternative.  I'm sure there are some people who disagree with that
practice, but if any of them wrote to me, they were respectful enough not to
beat me up about it.  Thank you so much.
 
Second, many people suggested either holding the latched on ferret under
water or dunking her to get her to release.  Sometimes plugging Mithril's
nose works, and prying usually eventually works, but I have never tried the
water thing and it sounds very effective.
 
Third, sometimes you just have to enjoy a ferret by watching and not
handling.  Good point.
 
Some people were in favor of defanging or filing the teeth.  I tend to think
if I filed her teeth it would only hurt a lot more the next time she bit me.
I got several offers for shelter placements for Mithril.  I also received
some animal specialists names, email addresses, phone numbers to contact for
advice.  (I will not post these to the FML, however.) I'm not sure how
painful the defanging would be, whether it would be effective, or how it
would affect her life afterward.  It is a last resort.
 
What am I going to do?  Well, first, I've decided to change strategy.  For
the past six or seven months I have been operating under the assumption that
Mithril WILL come around eventually and be just as sweet and nice as my
little Marshall Farms guy.  Ain't gonna happen.  Therefore, I am calling a
halt to all rough play involving my skin.  I used to figure if she bit me
hard it was an opportunity to administer loving discipline.  While I'm sure
it would have impressed the spartans, this has done nothing for the milky
white skin of my hands and nose.
 
Now, I will be rolling jingle balls and whapping her with towels and tossing
her in the cage if she shows signs of getting frenzied.  Also, we are going
to give ourselves permission to simply cage her when we want to spend time
in that part of the house without watching her every minute.  She'll get
plenty of playtime, and we'll get some much needed r&r.
 
Nextly, I am keeping her around for a few months more, after which time I
will reevaluate her behavior and if necessary choose a shelter for her.  I
mentioned spaying before.  She comes with papers saying she's spayed and
descented, but we have some doubts as she had an infected anal gland.  There
is a SMALL chance that she is not spayed, but she probably is.  I want to
make sure, though, and the only way to do that is to watch her for heat.
From what I'm told that will be unmistakeable.  I have been advised not to
breed Mithril.  Heehee.  How much will you guys pay me not to plant little
silver menaces in pet stores all across the country?  Oh, oh, maybe I can
CLONE her!
 
Someone suggested she might be a good working ferret.  While I'm sure she
would be the world champion ratkiller when given the chance, no one is in
that business anymore.  I'm sure she would enjoy rabbit hunting, but I'd
have to ship her overseas for her to pursue that career, and I think she's
too big and aggressive (ie.  she'd kill ALL the rabbits, then hole up until
they were all eaten.  :) My husband thinks she would enjoy working for the
mafia.  "My friend here is gonna rearrange your face if you don't tell me
who killed Vinny."
 
Finally, she is going to the vet for a booster tomorrow, at which point I
will throw myself on the vet's mercy and see if she can offer any help or
rule out medical causes for her behavior (uh, after I pry her off the vet's
nose?)
 
As a last comment, it truly seemed to me that ferrets who want to hurt
people are very rare.  It is quite easy to train a ferret not to bite when
they don't want to hurt you.  Mortimer used to sometimes clamp down too hard
(he's pretty big), but I always said he never bites anyone he doesn't like!
And after he figured out it hurt, he stopped.  I hope this discussion isn't
scaring anyone away from ferrets.  It bothers me when someone who is
unfamiliar with them comes to my house because they are automatically
assuming that 1 out of every 3 ferrets is mean when I tell them they can't
handle Mithril.  I think it is more like 1/100 or even 1/1000.  However,
they are definitely out there and I heard quite a few vicious ferret
stories.  Many of them ended up over the Rainbow Bridge, so to speak.
 
Thanks again.  You are very nice people.  My hand still kinda hurts, but I
must admit it's not really THAT bad.  :)
 
-Catherine
and Sebastian "Yeah, DEFANG her!"
and Mortimer "What's all this?  What's going on?"
and Mithril "Bad to the bone.  B-b-b-bad!"
[Posted in FML issue 1837]