I really can't believe this happened...forgive me if I babble.
 
Yesterday morning when I was getting ready to go to school, my baby ferret
Espresso walked into the bathroom after me and laid down on her side.  I
bent down to pet her and she didn't move very much.  I picked her up and
took her into her room and put her down by her water bowl.  She didn't get
up, but just kind of leaned over to get a drink.  I called the vet to tell
them what was wrong while I gathered her up to go.  By the time I got there,
she looked much worse she whimpered a little when I picked her up.  The
doctor said her stomach was really bloated.  She seemed to be in even more
pain...she whined louder everytime her stomach was touched.  We took an
x-ray and it also showed that her stomach was so big.  We hooked her up to
an IV then and Dr. Nowland told me that even though she didn't see a
blockage in the x-ray, she wanted to do surgery because she was afraid
Espresso would die.  I was too.  I helped her prep her for surgery, but left
when they started.  I was really just kinda spaced out the whole time.  She
didn't find any obstruction.  While I was waiting for her to wake up from
the anesthesia, I noticed how much blood was on the towel they had laid her
on.  Dr. Nowland turned her over and blood ran down her belly from where the
stitches were...there were little red dots where she was hemorraging.  The
doctor said it looked like she had a problem that her blood wasn't clotting,
and that that was not a good sign.  She called it something (DTC?), I can't
remember for sure... she said it could have been from the shock.  Since
there was no blockage, the doctor asked me if she could have eaten something
toxic.  I didn't think I had left anything in her reach, but found out later
I was wrong.  I stayed there with her a little longer, but then decided to
go home and see if I could find what she might have gotten into...
 
I hadn't been home long when I got a call from the vet saying she didn't
make it.
 
Later, I found some roach traps way in the back of the cabinet... they might
have been there before we moved in..  I never bought roach baits while we
lived here.
 
I feel so terrible... she was only 7 months old.  It's so hard to believe
that my tiny baby girl died so suddenly and it's all my fault..  My only
other ferret is Seymour.  Now he stays in my room at night and in his own
room or with me at work during the day.  I feel awful leaving him by himself
so I usually put the cat in his room with him.  They are good friends.  I
don't think they understand that Espresso is gone.  Sometimes it seems like
they may be looking for her.  I think they will be alright, though.
 
We had no place to bury her here, so we asked my parents if we could bury
them in their backyard.  We planted a Moutain Laurel there next to her and I
bought some Forget-me-nots to plant in front of my place to remember her by.
I pulled out all the pictures we had taken of her...there were only five of
them.  We had her for such a short time.  She was such a cute little girl.
She charmed everyone from the first moment they saw her.  Seymour and
Psycho-kitty liked her immediately.  She was so mischievous and full of
energy.  I was playing with her the night before she died.  So unlike sweet
Seymour... God, it seems so empty and quiet without her.  My poor baby
 
Please don't anyone flame me.  Believe me, there is nothing I haven't
thought of that I should have done.  I'm sorry this post is so long.  I can
only hope Espresso is happy making mischief at the rainbow bridge.  Give all
your ferrets extra love and raisins for me today.
 
Good-bye, 'Spresso.
                --Barbara Thomas
[Posted in FML issue 1717]