****************************************
                * F.L.O. DIPATCH -- CODE RED CODE RED  *
                *         WE ARE AT DOOK-CON 5!!       *
                ****************************************
 
Eeeekk!  This is Captain Casey ... with my trusty Sargeant .... Sarge.  We
are pinned down in the Master Bedroom outpost in the Subterranean
"Under-The-Dresser" H-I-D-E-Y--H-O-L-E.  (if there are any silly humans
reading this, we've booby trapped it with "ferret poop mines" so keep your
hands OUT!).  We urgently request reinforcements to take on the latest
apartment dwelling terror!!
 
Sargeant and I were checking out a new "thing" that Dad dragged out of the
closed and plugged to a wall food source of some kind to fuel up.  Then that
box that has our Daddy trained so well began to ring and he went to pick it
up (Hello?.....Oh how's it going?  etc etc etc.) It scares us that Daddy is
talking to himself.  But anyway, he left this 'Monster' setting in the
bedroom unattended, so I sent Sarge in for a recon mission.  He sniffed
around and signalled the "all clear" (For you rookies it's 'dook dook hop
hop dook') So I went to do a more complete evaluation of the "Monster" (but
I didn't know it was a "Monster" at the time.) Well, as I was doing my
analysis, I must have stepped on the monster's private lever because it got
all MAD AND ROARED AT ME!
VVVVVRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR!!
 
Needless to say both Sarge and I were taken by surprise (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!)
And decided to beat a ..... uhh ..... "strategic" retreat to the "Under the
Dresser" outpost.  Daddy then came up and laughed at us!!  (Silly Human, he
won't have socks for a WEEK!) He then put his hand on the MONSTER and it
calmed down immediately!  He called it his "VAKOOM" or something like that.
 
All Agents, we are in dire straights.  We refuse to come out of our
stronghold until the "VAKOOM" threat has been neutralized.  WE NEED
REINFORCEMENTS!  Daddy has tried to trick us out with treats, but we won't
be fooled so easily.  Ummmm.....we're "strategically" waiting for the
VAKOOM's next move.  Yeah, that's it.
 
help.
 
** END DISPATCH **  Captain Casey & Sargeant Sarge
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=
=-   \_/----    Matt Romoser (aka "Romo")                           -=
-=   |    * |   [log in to unmask]                                    =-
=-   |      |   Ft. Wayne, Indiana                                  -=
-=   |      |                                                       =-
=-   /     /    "The most important thing in acting is honesty.     -=
-=  /__--/       Once you've learned to fake that, you're in."      =-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=SAMUEL GOLDWYN=-=-=-
[Posted in FML issue 1840]