Catherine Shaffer prompted re: ferrets that bite --
 
>(Swamp, maybe this is a good time to repost your special method?
>I can't do it justice.)
 
Ms. (I ride a broomstick to work) Shaffer is too modest.  Anyone who's
entertained the thought of going to work with a ferret attached to her nose
knows about biting ferrets.  But since there might be other ferret owners
with similar problems I'll bite too.  ;)
 
If your ferret chomps on people that don't deserve it, you may have to stick
your thumb and index finger into the back of his mouth behind the bite.
Push your digits together until they meet, then slide them out and in again
until you trap some ferret lip between his molars (sorry Mo'Bob, I forget
what they're called) and your fingers.  That way, if the ferret bites harder
he bites harder on you *and* himself.  Conversely, if he lets up then he's
biting less hard on both of you.  If your ferret is stubborn, you may have
to push your finger down his gullet until he gags and releases.  This
technique involves some pain for all, but it's not that bad, and it works.
Woody, my former chomper, has not chomped in over a year.
 
Re: ferret lingo -- Sukie Crandall has established a larger vocabulary than
my guys want to understand, but they do understand *some* words.  I use
"Lemme see" for everything from nail clipping to dental examination.  When
they feel they've sat still long enough, a "wait, wait, wait" will usually
buy another 5 seconds.  A loud "HEY!" will distract them for 1-2 seconds,
which is sometimes just long enough to grab the brimming cup they're about
to knock over, or the keys they're stealing from a visitor's purse.
Sometimes.  "Beach" means it's time for a romp in the sand -- they hear
"beach" real good -- "no" they're not so keen on.  Actually, "no" is beyond
the frequency response of ferret ears, I think.
 
Re: Marshall Farms, politics, and why we're so screwed up -- To me, the
biggest problem with MF and the surrounding debate is that it divides ferret
owners as a lobbying force, and we aren't much of a force to begin with.  So
does all the LIFE this, AFA that, NAFA did, FURO didn't nonsense.  Upon
joining the FML, I was surprised by all the bandwidth dedicated to
squabbling among the various organizations.  Then came the MF feud and its
complications.  (Don't worry BIG, this isn't about animal rights; it's about
ferret owners' rights.)  Then I learned that CA isn't the only place with
silly anti-ferret laws, and that NJ and MI aren't the only places where pet
ferrets that nip are killed under the pretense of rabies control.  Meanwhile,
all the petty infighting continues.
 
It's amazing to me that ferret folk, who I believe *do* care about ferrets,
would waste precious energy attacking each other while our animals are in
danger of being needlessly euthanized.  Since finger-pointing is exactly
what we want to avoid, let's just say that it's our collective fault that
ferrets are still mislabeled as rabid, feral threats to people and native
species.
 
imho: the two most important items on the "ferret" agenda are legalization
and quarantine.  As a group we largely agree on them, and we are all
affected by them.  Once we've achieved national legalization and quarantine
policy, *then* we can start slinging mud around again.  It angers me that in
fighting with each other we often forget what we're fighting *for*.
 
On Jan. 23, a Californian goes before the court on criminal charges that he
withheld information regarding the whereabouts of a ferret accused of
biting.  The verdict is rather important to him.  The fact that he's being
tried is important to all of us.
 
swamp
 
"Who, me officer? What's a ferut? These guys?? No, they're Polish cats."
[Posted in FML issue 1820]