This will be the worst message I've ever written.  Just over 24 hours ago I
stepped on my beautiful baby girl, Echo, and killed her.  I am on the verge
of insanity.  This is the worst feeling in the world.  I feel so guilty and
ashamed.  I wanted to kill myself when it happened.  She was my beautiful,
deaf blaze and she was my favorite, most special ferret I have ever owned.
She was only 5 months old.  She never missed her litter box, and she NEVER
bit anyone.  Whenever I'd let her out she'd go looking for my boyfreind (who
claims to hate ferrets) and she would give him kisses from head to toe...she
never did that to me, but seeing my boyfreind and her playing made me so
happy.  She was his little girl.  She would follow him everywhere!!  I was
putting somehting on a shelf and I knew they were out playing, but I dind't
look when I stepped down, and I stepped on her!!  I Didn't even step on her
that hard, but I heard her cry and she ran away.  So I picked her up and she
felt really funny.  I handed her to my boyfreind and she just lied there.  I
put her back on the floor and she walked about 3 feet and collapsed.  He
picked her up and I paged the vet.  She died within 5 minutes while I was
talking to the vet on the phone.  She died in my boyfreinds arms, and just
before she died she kissed his hand.  I hate myself so much right now.  We
were so excited for summer to come becuase we live at our cottage in the
summer and she would've loved it there.  She would've loved the water.  She
loved water.  She used to take the top off our humidifier and stick her head
in the hole where the mist comes out until she was soaked, then she'd look
up at us like "what are you looking at?" and it was the cutest thing in the
world.  I am still in complete denial.  I haven't accepted that she is gone
yet, but at least I have managed to stop crying for a bit.  Everytime I walk
into the kitchen I see the spot where it happened and I loose it.  I had no
idea they were that fragile.  I hope this doesn' happen to any of you
becuase it is the worst feeling in the world.  I was so irresponsible.  She
was my baby and I killed her.  I'm a wreck.  We were going to get her
cremated, but we've decided to bury her at our cottage becuase she would've
loved it there.  I'm having a nervous break down.  I still can't believe i
killed her.  It took 1 second...just 1 second and I'm so mad at myself
because if I would've just looked down she would still be here with me.  I
would give anything in the world just to see her playing with my boyfreind.
He used to bug me because she liked him more than me...but I just liked
watching them play becuase she always had so much fun.  I think that I broke
her ribs and punctured her lungs...I know her back wasn't broken...this is
so horrible.  I hope you all hug your ferrets tonight and be thankful that
they are healthy and you can kiss them and hold them.  Right now I am
sitting in an empty apartment and I have no one to hug.
 
LIZ
[Posted in FML issue 1808]