We just want to take a moment to thank everyone who helped us with support
and health tips for Nicky over the past few months.  Nicky died last night
(Tuesday) in Melissa's arms.  Although we were never able to confirm his age
when we got him at the shelter three years ago, we were told he was five.
So he was eight, which I guess is pretty good for what must have been a pet
store ferret who may have had several homes before we kept him.
 
Obviously we're both sad, miserable wrecks, but there is something very
interesting about this that makes me think that Nicky actually proved how
smart he was and how concerned he was for our well-being in the end.
 
Nicky hadn't been able to move for several days and barely ate or drank
unless it was spoonfed or came in a syringe.  He also had to put up with us
giving him baths several times a day to get the poop and pee off of him.
 
Sometime around 9:30 Tuesdau.  Melissa told him she was going away for a few
minutes to eat the dinner that I had just nuked for us.  He seemed to
understand and I guess that's when he chose it to be his time.  He wanted us
to be with him when he went instead of dying when we were at work, or
asleep, and having to find him dead, or having to have us take him in to the
vet for it.
 
He started having difficulty breathing and Melissa called me from the
kitchen.  We listened carefully, and it really sounded as though he couldn't
breathe.  His body heaved as if he tried to inhale but nothing was going in.
Every now and then the air would move and I could feel the breath on my
cheek and hand as I got close to make sure he was breathing.  Then the
breathing got quieter and every so often he tried to take a big, deep
breath.  Then, he seemed to spasm.  His tail bushed out and he shook a bit.
And that was it.
 
I really get the sense that he knew the concern we had for him.  And while
we recognized his anguish and did our best to try and comfort him, I think
he recognized our anguish, and wanted to go in a way that would be
comfortable for all of us.  He was in Melissa's arms and we were around as
he went, petting him as it happened.  Melissa was telling him that it was
okay to go.
 
What made me realize that this was it was his eyes.  For the first time in
weeks, they were open very wide......I don't know if it was pain.....I hope
not....but I think it was more fright for what was going to happen next.
The whole process took only a few minutes (I think, I wasn't looking at the
clock), but to have seen his eyes like that really made me know that this
was it.
 
When we told the vet, he asked if he could do an autopsy.  We agreed in the
hopes that from what the doc learned, other ferrets could be helped in the
future.  Interestingly the vet didn't come right out and say this.  Is this
a given?  I find it hard to believe he would want to do it just to confirm
his diagnoses over the past six months.  I'll post another soon with the
results that I got.  I'm anxious to hear what some of you think about some
things that were found.
 
I can't say I look forward to the days when our other three ferrets get to
this point.  I'm sure it will be just as hard as last night, but in another
way, the fact that this was the first time one of our ferrets died will
make future ones a bit easier, I hope.  Maybe that's another gift that Nicky
gave us.
 
We decided we'll plant some apple trees and scatter his ashes among them.
 
Nicky's orchard.
 
Paul & Melissa
[Posted in FML issue 1717]