Dear Readers,
Here is a story that I wrote, please tell me what you think, I have another
one that may be posted in a couple of weeks called the "Ferret King."
 
How Ferrets See the World
By: Cody Smith
 
You wake up casually one morning and find that you are sleeping in a
hammock, it is a large purple hammock.  Next to you (or beneath you) sleeps
your companion softly breathing in and out.  As you look around you realize
that you are in a ferret cage, you are a ferret.  Directly above is a metal
grating to small to fit through but there is a large hole in the roof for
you to climb out if you please.  One corner houses an empty milk carton that
is full of holes and looks very intriguing but it has been already
thouroghly explored and gnawed on.  Instead of stairs there is merely a
gentle sloping ramp that leads to the open bathroom below, you don't mind
because your always naked anyway.  As you get out of bed your companion
stirs slightly but then returns to slumber.  You hoble down the stairs that
aren't even slightly comfterble but you have grown used to the cold cage
floor in the early morning.  As the big two legged things scurry around
outside the room in which your cage resides you eat breakfast out of a
barrel sized food bowl, each parcel is no smaller than the equivelent of a
plum, yet you can easily scarf them down one after another.
 
The sudden urge to poop sweeps over you, looking to the corner of your cage
you see an old pair of pants blocking your quickest way so you settle for
the centrally located pan that is ful or rocks that smell funny.  As you
proceed one of the big two legged things strides over to your cage, shaking
the floor, and says that you are a "good boy." Over your life you have
figured that "good boy" means they like you and "Bad" means you've done
something wrong.  Although it is a bit confusing, because while some of the
big people call you good while the littlest human can do nothing but call
you bad and try to get you.
 
Hours later after all the humans have left you decide that it would be a
good time to explore because they cannot get you if they are not here.  You
climb to the top floor of your cage and emerge onto the roof which is a fun
place to be, you can bonzai jump to the floor or take a lok out the window
through the blinds on the windowsil.  Where you love to go but can never get
for there are no constantly open doors that lead there.
 
Since today is one of the rare days when the door to the outside rooms of
the BIG house are open you, you jump.  After regaining proper senses you run
over to one of you favorite toys which is about 7 ferret feet long, and jump
squarely in the middle of it, awakening you sister who still sleeps in the
hammock.  You scuttle cautiosly into the hall and are startled to here the
load clack-clack-clack of your sister gettinga drink from the iron hose.
 
"Where shall we go today," pondering that question you stand there for
nearly ten minutes until you remember the dirt in a bowl downstairs.
Although it is quite a way down you make the journey to the entry rather
quickly going step by step.  As you glance around you see the dirt bowl on
the dinning room table, it will be tougher to get to it today.  Your sister
casually strolles out into the hall up by the stairs, you know she hasn't
pooped yet and can very precisely predict where she will go next.  The
chairs that give access to the table top are high but ot unclimbable, so you
decide to use the inside way of jumping in a single bound, then pulling up
your flexible body with your claws.  After two or three try's you make it up
onto the spongy part, "this belongs on the floor," you think, pushing the
cushion off of the chair with your nose.  You jump agily up to the arm of
the chair and jump agian to the table where your prize awaits.
 
The first thing to do is push it onto the floor so that you may have easier
access to it later in the day.  As you nudge it off the end of the table you
only feel a tad guilty becuase usually when the BIG people find thi s they
say "BAD" a lot, and you get locked in your cage for the remainder of the
day.  Soon the guilt goes away, and you and your sis gather around the
toppled bowl and proceed to spread the dirt across the floor and play
joyfully in it.
 
At the very moment when you walk back upstairs and into your room, the
outside door opens.  You rush to see who has come, it's the medium sized
early person.  When he see's your sis playing in the dirt he says "BAD" six
or seven times.  He then scoops her up and takes her upstairs to where you
are.  You run to hide but you have already been spotted.  Covered with dirt
you are an equaly guilty party for the mess even though you weren't at the
scene of the crime.  He ploopes back into your cage and locks tight the
door.  He then walks over and sits down at the glowing box.  You do still
not understand how can he can look at the box for hours without playing.
But all you can think about right now is sleep for you have been awake for
nearly six hours now and you will sleep for days.
 
I hope you have enjoyed my story about the life of a ferret on an average
day, I hope you will now look at ferrets in a different way.  The world is
different through the eye's of a ferret.
 
Cody Smith
--<(The BIG Ferret)>--
[log in to unmask]
Ferrets Anonymous
HTTP://www.efn.org/~csmith/
[Posted in FML issue 1578]