Lauren had adopted two ferrets from us.  She is a great ferret mom who would
never think of caging her "kids".  Her house is well ferret-proofed and even
though Lauren works weekdays, her ferrets have the run of the house.
 
One day while at work, Lauren received an emergency call from the Nashua
(NH) police department.  A telephone operator had received a 911 call from
her house, but when the operator tried to talk to the caller, she got no
response.  The operator, following procedure called the police at once.
"Is there someone in the house that may be having a medical emergency?"
they needed to know.
 
Well, Lauren lives alone and "No, there is no one at home who could have
called."  she replied.
 
"We suspect that there is someone in your house.  We need you to come home
immediately and open the door for us."
 
Lauren dashed out of her office, hardly pausing to tell her manager more
than "Emergency.  Have to get home now." She took off, driving the 10 miles
from Milford to Nashua at "somewhat above the speed limit." And as luck
would have it, one of Milford's finest, was on the look out for speeders.
Pulled her over.
 
Lauren explained the emergency call from the Nashua police.  They quickly
confirmed the situation and offered Lauren a police escort to her home.  So
sirens wailing, and lights flashing, the sped off for Lauren's home.
 
As they came down Lauren's street, Lauren could see emergency vehicles
everywhere.  Nashua police with their blue lights blinking; ambulances with
their red lights going round and round; fire trucks and rescue vehicles all
with red lights going flash flash flash.  And now comes Lauren and the
Milford police car added to the constellation of flashing lights.
 
Lauren jumped out of the police car and ran to the front door where two
Nashua police waited.  "Please unlock the door and stand back.  We don't
know who might be in there." warned one of the policemen.
 
Lauren unlocked the door and jumped back, as the two policemen, guns drawn
rushed into the house.
 
Several minutes later, they returned and called Lauren inside.  "We didn't
find anyone, but we did find something strange.  Would you come inside
please."
 
Lauren, the Milford police, the firemen, the fire rescue squad, the
ambulance attendents all crowded into the house.  The Nashua police led them
into the living room.  There on the floor was the telephone.  On the floor
with the handset off the hook.  "Do you have any idea how this could have
gotten here?" one asked.
 
Lauren started to reply, "No, I don't have any idea how . . . . " when two
pink noses appeared from under the couch, followed shortly by two ferret
heads.  (I'm sure that they went under there to protect their treasures from
the "armed intruders".)  Lauren's eyes widened in realization, then narrowed
in accusation as she looked down, "I think I might have an idea."
 
The policemen followed her gaze.  "You don't mean that, that . . . . Why in
the world don't you have them in a cage.  All ferrets should be caged." his
voice rising in volume.
 
Unfortunately "cage" and "ferret" don't belong in the same sentence in
Lauren's vocabulary.  In fact that is one of her HOT buttons, so she lit
into the policeman.  "What do you mean I should cage my ferrets?  I don't
cage my guys.  How dare you . . . ." her voice getting quite loud by now too.
 
Of course while Lauren and the policeman exchanged words, the ferrets got
really riled and started wardancing in among the feet of the Lauren, the
policemen, the firemen, the rescue squad, the ambulance attendents, and by
now a few curious neighbors.  I guess it got more than a little wild, with
the police finally threatening to fine her if the ferrets ever called 911
again.
 
Epilog: Lauren's ferrets are still free roamers and still have the run of
the house while she's working.  The phone is now a wall phone, hung well up
out of ferret reach.
 
Dick B.    Support your local ferret shelters
[Posted in FML issue 1573]