From time to time, I've recieved e-mails that suggest I have a low opinion
of the California Fish and Game (AKA CaCa Fish and Gestapo).  They are
wrong.  I actually have *less* than a low opinion; most of it couldn't be
published in such an outstanding family forum such as this.
 
I was born and raised in California for most of my life.  My parents live
there, my family lives there.  There is not a part of the state I haven't
seen.  I've hiked the entire Pacific Crest Trail at one time (1976) and in
segments (1980s).  My bicycle log has more than 18,000 miles within the
State, almost all on back roads from the north to the south.  I did zoology
field work in the central valley for 4 years, and archaeological surveys for
almost 6 years throughout the state.  I worked as a photographer in Calif
for 10 years, and during that time was in the boonies most weekends.  I'vs
stood in the middle of the San Andreas fault, on the top of Shasta, in the
back country of Yosemite.  During that time I have cataloged road kill,
indentified bones along-side the highway (and from various law-enforcement
agencies) and even surprised a cougar to two.  I have seen a total of *one*
ferret found in the "wild" (actually about 3 miles from a small town).  It
was less than a year old, was emaciated, covered with fleas, and infested
with three species of worms.  It also had two blue dots behind his right
ear.  Oh yeah, it was dead.  Feral populations?  Bullcrap!
 
I have nothing but contempt for a government agency that refuses to pick up
a book and learn the truth.  But that is not what is happening in
California, my friends.  This isn't an issue of zoology; this is pure
politics.  The overwhelming evidence, the lack of any support for any
contention made, the insistence on using evidence based on anecdotes rather
than hypotheses, the ignoring of hundreds of years of evidence, the
disregard of what European scientists have found, the arrogance of insisting
48 other states are wrong, and the bully-like behavior of the Fish and
Gestapo agents towards innocent citizens is either because they are so
absolutely stupid they can't understand what a ecotome is, or they doen't
care because they are too busy sucking money from the butts of the poutry
and hunting industry (who are absolutely stupid).
 
Californians, it is time you put your money were your ferret is.  It's time
to fight for what you believe to be right.  Ferrets are domesticated;
hundreds of authorities will back you on that, included the federal
government.  Domesticated animals are personal property of the person who
owns them, and that right is protected by the Constitution (Bill of Rights).
You can't lose if you are willing to cough up the money to win.  Sue the
damn state for major monetary damages.  Each time a Fish and Gestapo agent
harrasses a citizen, sue them personally in federal court for infringement
on constitutional rights.  You can't beat the bully by hoping they will
change their mind; use force and lots of it.  Those jerks are laughing at
you.  I am a peaceful person, but there comes a time when gloves come off or
the boots go on.
 
The people of the FML have adopted hundreds of needy ferrets, mobilized and
moved them, and contibuted funds to maintain and support shelters.  Folks,
we *CAN* do more on the California issue.  Start economic boycotts against
California pet industry businesses within the state.  Boycott Foster Farms
or Tyson.  Go to Duck Unlimited and present the facts, and boycott them if
they don't listen to reason.  Sue the state to produce evidence that ferrets
are wild.  Present the issue to the state vet organization.  Get local
zoology professors to write papers, even it if is nothing more than they
have never seen a ferret in the wild.  Make the ferret an issue in local
elections, maybe you can get a local town to declare them legal and force
the state to defend their position.It takes work, it takes money, it takes
dedication.  But most important, it takes the realization that this is a
*political* issue, not a biological, and political issues have a habit of
biting the hand that feeds them.
 
For the last year I have heard nothing but hope then depression, followed by
more hope and depression.  That is a classic tactic of oppressive
governments.  You have just enough hope to prevent the rebellion, but just
enough depression negate the will to organize.  As long as they can keep you
off guard and helpless, they will.  It's time to break the cycle and show
those non-cephalic biopolititicans what neutering is all about.
 
I, for one, will help in any way possible.  Even if it is just to call the
SOBs names they don't understand.
 
Any state that allows the Fish and Gestapo to spend 11 months in
survelance to capture 7 citizens owning 36 ferrets while at the same time
cuts social services to its citizens because of a lack of money deserves
to have the crap kicked out of it. Start kicking!
 
Mo' Bob and the 18 Ferret-Dissidents "Ferridents" (Gus dooks at the F&G)
[Posted in FML issue 1752]