First, sorry about the mass of posts in one issue; I was visiting my mother
and used my Eudora program to automatically mail them out.  I must have
goofed it up, so what was meant to be one per day turned out to be all on
Sunday.  Sorry.
 
Things then to go in cycles, and often the same questions are brought up
over and over, just a few months after extensive explaining.  I mention this
because I've got a piece of e-mail asking why I answered directly instead of
sending it to the FML for all to read.  Simple, because I have already said
it several times before.  Some of todays Q&A are answers to questions
already asked before, so bear with me.
 
Q: You must be really smart to have all this ferret stuff in your head.
 
A: Yes, it smarts all right, but usually gives the other people the
headache.
 
Actually, I rarely post anything I haven't checked out in the references,
and when I do, I say so in the post.  One of my nicknames at MU is "Mr.
Primary Source" because of my reputation of digging out the early references
on a subject.  I am so anal about this that I literally spend between
$40-$70 bucks a week on photoycopies (When Margaret Zick "Mo' Maggie"
visited Columbia to find a house, she knew she could always find me at the
copy center at the library)  In my extra bedroom (AKA the dungeon, AKA the
Library from Hell) I have 8 4-drawer file cabinets and 4 5-shelf bookshelves
filled with references (I just cleaned everything up).  One entire file
cabinet is dedicated to ferrets and mustelids.  So if someone asks me about
teeth, I pull out something from Poole, or on the history....well, you get
the idea.  Someday I hope to have it all scanned in on CDs, so the 'pooper
can tell me all I need to know, but until then, I have about four trees
transformed into 8 1/2 by 11 paper.
 
Q: Were ferret's mentioned in the Bible?
 
A: Only when speaking about Christ's RAISIN the dead.  he he he.
 
Yes and No.  In the older King James translations of Leviticus, "Ferret" is
used, but not in the modern versions, including the modern King James and
new "protestant" versions, which use "Gecko." Based on Jewish tradition and
modern translations, all authorities have rejected "ferret" in favor of
"gecko" or "lizard." Don't argue it with me; I just report it.
 
This is one of those questions which come up every few months, like ferrets
being domesticated before the cat.  Without pointing fingers, I suspect the
reason is inaccurate information published in several ferret books, all of
which tend to have drawn the original inference from a single publication.
People want a powerful argument in support of the domestication of the
ferret, so they cling to these outdated stories and ignore the truth.  The
truth is, cats were domesticated about 5000 years ago, Ferrets were
domesticated about 2500 years ago.  Ferrets were not mentioned in the Bible,
nor in the Torah, nor any other middle eastern book or reference.  There
just isn't any evidence at all.  None.
 
Q: I have just a few ferrets.  How can you handle 18?
 
A: With pyschotropic drugs.
 
Between you and me, it's hard, which is why I am always amazed at TLE in her
house of 60, or others in a similar condition.  I make sure I pick up and
play with each ferret each day, and all have come to expect the attention.
They get mad if I don't and poop all over the floor.  I often let them
shower with me, or go swimming.  If I'm reading something (which is all the
time) they are allowed to read it with me.  About the only thing I won't let
them do is crawl into my dinner plate (although they've done it to my
glass).  Now that it's cooler, they love to sleep inside my
sweatshirt/sweater (I keep the house about 65F).
 
Of course, the hardest thing is the poop.  I have about a 90% hit rate at
the box, which translates as 10-15 piles on the floor per day, some right
next to the box (the creeps).  But they are worth it, and since I wet-vac
the carpet each week, not a problem.  Of course, there was the time one of
my professors came over to meet the brood.  Right before his arrival, two of
the group had a flight which degenerated into a "feces fling." One small
piece landed on the couch, and guess where the prof sat?  Yep, and I still
get a hard time for it today.
 
Mo' Bob and the 18 Fuzzy Snakes (In memory of Gus)
[Posted in FML issue 1736]