Vicky,
 
I would ask your state health vet where he got his information on ferrets
and attacks on babies.  Ask him if it was "Pet European Ferrets: A Hazard to
Public Health, Small Livestock, and Wildlife" (CA Dept.  of Health Svcs,
December 1988).  If it was, then call the California Domestic Ferret
Association, and ask them to send you a copy of their "1990 Public
Information Manual", "Ferrets and the New Inquisition, A Rebuttal to the
CDHS Report of December 1988", and copies of their survey of all 50 states
regarding feral populations and danger to wildlife.  Ask your state health
vet to read it, especially the middle sections.
 
Finally, if he thinks ferrets are a danger to humans, ask him what his
office's statisitcs are on dog bites requiring medical attention, fatalities
from dog bites, and the age of the recipients of the bites.  Then ask if he
has familiarized himself with the likely number of dogs and the the likely
number of ferrets for whatever period he likes.  If he doesn't want to
accept guesses at the number of ferrets, ask him if he has a good basis to
make any comparative claims as to bite rates for ferrets as against dogs, or
alternatively ask him to solve for how many ferrets there must be to make
the bite stats come out as more damaging for the ferret than the dog (to me,
bites requiring serious medical attention or involving death are most
interesting).  Ask him if cats are a danger to wildlife while you're at it,
and ask him if the regular unsupervised nature of cat excursions and feral
cat populations are more likely to produce damage to wildlife than the
occasional escapes of the non-feral-producing ferrets.
 
It's very hard to ask any of that non-confrontationally and unemotionally,
but it probably pays to be careful to be non-confrontational if possible so
as not to shut down but instead persuade your listener.
 
Regarding couches, I had great success with good quality coated rectangular
mesh nailed to the bottom of the couch.  A lot of work, but the ferrets can
not get through it, and seldon has great fun motoring himself around on his
back under the couch using the mesh as a kind of ladder.  It's pretty
unlikely he will come to misfortune with this arrangement (hope, hope).
 
Todd Cromwell (human)
Dors and Seldon (cutables)
[Posted in FML issue 1612]