To Sukie Crandall
I was sorry to hear in my first Ferret Post about Ruffle, my thoughts are
with you as I have had to have both my Ferrets put down due to ilness and
know how distressing it can be.  You asked for some funny stories well I
hope that these might raise a smile.
 
I havn't got a Ferret at the moment, I'ld love one but space and the
Landlord don't permit.  As I mentioned I did have a couple a few years back,
an albino Hob called Snowy (I was young and lacking imagination) and a Jill
called Siouxsie (I was young lacking imagination and into Punk Rock) also
albino.
 
I don't know if it's common, but both ferrets automatically knew when
someone was scared of them, and used to make the most of this situation.  A
favorite trick was to hide in my mothers friends handbags whilst the owner
wasn't watching.  As soon as the unfortunate persons interest turned back
towards their bag out would leap a ferret hissing spitting and leaping in
true ferret fashion.  Those that had become accustomed to these attacks
would smile politely as the offending creature was extricated from their
possessions, those that had not, would generally scream and leap out of
their seat causing the bundle of fury to put on an even better show of mock
aggression.  A cup of tea, about fifteen minutes and profuse apologies would
generally settle their nerves, until next time......
 
Once we had a long term guest (Sue) stay at our house, who too was
unfortunately scared of our pets.  Snowy soon developed a daily ritual which
lasted as long as our guest did.  He would wake shortly before Sue and
encamp himself outside of her door laying flat out, patiently waiting for
his quarry.  Sue would emerge complete with a bath towel with which she
vainly fought to keep Snowy at bay whilst he, hissing leaping and spinning
around would wind sue up for THE CHASE.  Having managed to keep the killer
away from her ankles with one hand and close her bedroom door with the
other, Sue now had a 15 yard dash to the bathroom hotly persued by a still
viciously hissing Snowy bounding after her, again the towel came into play
as she maneuvered ferret and bathroom door so that her mornings ablutions
could begin.  As soon as the door shut Snowy would become his normal calm
docile self whilst he waited for Sue and THE RETURN JOURNEY......
 
Snowy and Siouxsie had the run of our house which was fairly ferretproof
apart from the couch which they managed to burrow into, this lead to another
favourite method of suprising unwary guests by suddenly emerging from the
cushions and jumping at them with the usual accompanying hisses.  Their
chosen bed (chosen by them not us) was the top drawer of a chest of drawers
which they managed to access by climbing up the back and through a small
gap.  after being forced to accept their choice of nest we adorned it with a
fox fur left to us by an old friend, which they loved to curl up in.  One
day after a long and tiring walk with the ferrets in Hampstead Heath a
middle aged lady approached us when she saw the two ferrets on their
harnesses to see what these unusual creatures were.  As she got a little
closer we explained to her that they were ferrets, a fact that by the look
on her face she wasn't happy to learn.  Unfortunately Snowy recognised what
he thought was his much needed bed somewhat miraculously approching (the
ladys full length fur coat) and attempted to climb up into it.  The lady
suddenly had her worst fears about ferrets realised as this one tried to run
up her in an attempt to savage her throat, we had to laugh as she rapidly
fled leaving a very confused Snowy behind her.
 
I hope these story's have amused you, I'm new to the internet and don't have
much experience with this type of thing.  I'll have to end here as my boss
is understanding but I guess he'll want me to do some work today.
 
Paul Webster - Devon England.
[Posted in FML issue 1606]