Here are a few questions I want to get caught up on now that things are
better with the business.  These come from e-mail, and I haven't had time to
catch up on the FML, so sorry if they've been answered.
 
Q: Do ferrets dream?
 
A: Yes they do, mostly of driving fast cars, busty blondes, and winning
lottery numbers. Oh, they also dream of beef jerkey.
 
Actually, they do.  I'm writing this on a laptop in my bone room, so I don't
have the exact references, but several people, including a member of the
FML, did several studies on this very subject during the last decade or so.
Outstanding work, BTW.
 
Q: Are ferrets denning animals?
 
A: Depends if a cub scout den is available.
 
Ferrets are domestic animals, and their wild behaviors have been modified to
fit in with human desires better.  Female polecats and feral ferrets do make
dens during the breeding season, but at other times, they, along with most
males, tend to move around.  Normally, they pick several spots and
consistantly use them from time to time.  So the answer is yes and no.  Yes
they den, but they have several to choose from.  As for ferret, I believe
their wild behavior is similar to polecats, but there are so few feral
ferret populations, they have only really been studied in New Zealand, and
denning habits are only briefly mentioned.
 
Q: Are ferrets smarter than cats or dogs?
 
A: My boots are smarter than cats and dogs.
 
Again, I don't have the exact reference at hand, but the answer is yes.
Ferrets are as smart as some small monkeys, which shows in their unbridled
curiosity and constant activity.  We are talking about problem-solving, not
fetching sticks.  BTW, some of my ferrets fetch, they all come when called,
most roll over on command.  I just can't get them to consistantly used the
box.
 
Q: Why do ferrets get lost all the time?
 
A: If you look at a carnivore's face, you will immediately see the senses
most important in hunting.  In cats and dogs, they have prominant ears and
eyes.  In ferrets, there is this huge nose, with tiny ears and even tiner
eyes.  While smell is very important to dogs and cats, (and there is some
admited variation here) it is not the primary hunting sense.  Both catsa nd
dogs use hearing and sight as their primary weapons.  Additionally, they
both have vocalizations that are quite important, like the cat-in-heat yowl,
or the coyote call.  Most canines are pack animals, and exhibit a tremendous
amount of body language, more so than in cats, who are generally solitary.
Ferrets have few vocalizations, and they can't see celarly far enough to
tell if the bump in the next yard is a ferret or poop.  But they have this
huge nose in proportion to their skull, so they can smell a female in heat
upwind.
 
Part of the answer is that dogs and cats have brains adapted to visual
stimuli, so they better remember what things look like.  They also use
smell, dogs much more than cats, to help them out.  Both animals have anal
sacs, and when they can smell their poop, they know they are near home.
Ferrets do the same thing, with the poop that is, provided they still have
anal sacs to mark their poopie, but their sense of sight is limited, and
doesn't help out much in finding home.  Hell, they are so near-sighted I'm
not sure they can see their house from down the street.
 
Additionally, ferrets descended from polecats that live alone; they are
normally quite solitary, and very territorial.  Once on their own, they make
a bee-line for new areas to set up shop; uncut males, especially those in
rut, try to get as far from the local alpha males as possible.  I'm
convinced that it is instinctual for ferrets to wander off in search of new
places to live, just like it is for dogs to form packs.
 
Finally, they are just curious.  The curiosity stems from their latent
hunting behaviors; they just sniff and search until they find something to
eat.  Everything new has to be investigated, because it might hold a meal.
So they explore, they can't leave a scent trail, they can't see the house,
and they are looking for an easy meal.  Result?  Lost carpet monkey.
 
Bob and the 18 Carpet Monkeys (Goodbye Gus)
[Posted in FML issue 1699]