Hello, this is a message for the concerned loved ones of that special fuzzie
who has been acting a little strange.  Here is a checklist (mark any that
apply):
 
___1)  Spends most of his/her time at the food dish, poking his/her nose
around searching desperately for raisins (or crumbs of raisins).
 
___2)  Frequently lies about exactly how many raisens he/she has already had
that day.
 
___3)  Hangs out closely under foot when you are distributing raisens to the
other ferrets in your household, hoping that you drop some extras.
 
___4)  Misses work more than once a week (wait, fuzzies don't work, even
though they act they run the house).
 
___5)  Do you find an empty raisen container/box more than once a week hidden
in the ferret's favorite hidey-hole?
 
___6)  Does he/she find it difficult to start his/her day without a couple
of raisens?
 
___7)  Do you find money missing from the change-drawer or your purse, only
to go into your local store and hear the grocer say that he saw a strangely
disguised ferret purchasing raisens.
 
___8)  Do you find raisens stashed in various "secret" locations around the
house?
 
___9)  Do you find raisen crumbs in your bed?
 
___10)  Lately, has your ferret been "hanging out" with rough-looking
fuzzies?
 
___11)  Lately, has your ferret been angry or depressed when he/she doesn't
get as many raisens as he/she wants?
 
___12)  Does your fuzzie have "raisen-breath" all the time?
 
___13)  Has your ferret been missing school?  (wait, ferrets don't go to
school, even thought they think that they always know what is best for them,
even if it involves dangerous activities.)
 
___14)  Does your ferret look at you constantly with big, sad, puppy-dog
eyes and say, "Can I have more raisens, please?"
 
___15)  Do you find yourself making impromptu trips to the store or local
quikmart at odd hours to buy more raisens for your fuzzie?
 
*If any of these symptoms apply to your ferret, he/she may be a
raisenholic... 34.5 million ferrets suffer from this fattening disease.  You
are not alone, and we here at Raisens Anonymous (RA) can help!  We have
successfully treated over 250,000 raisen-craving ferrets.  Our clean,
friendly atmosphere promotes the development of a lifestyle without so many
dang raisens all the time!  Please call us at 1-800-RAISENS for free
information on our incredible program!  Remember, you are not alone in your
struggle to regain ownership of the raisens in the household!!!
 
[Moderator's note:
__16) Can your ferret spell raisin better than you can?    BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 1663]