Hi all.
 
I thought you should have the story about how Igor moved in with us.
 
One day I visited a garage sale.  Some strange guy in our neigbourhood who
likes old garbage and antiques sold out.  I was looking at an old Thai
ritual sword (I would probably hate to know, what it once was used for) when
I saw a cage ,4x4x2 feet with a small hammock hanging from the ceiling.  And
with a black tail hanging out of it.  What the ?#$()=" is THAT !??!!?  (I
love animals, Kirsten and I also have 15 cats).
 
I talked to the hammock.  And the little pole-cat stuck his head out,
stretched all his limbs, yawned and and hung for a while across the hammock,
waking up.  (I am exactly the same way, I have a sign over my bed: FIRST
socks, THEN shoes).  Some of the owner's kids showed up and told me it was
an "ilder" - in danish, pronounced [iller].  "Ild" means FIRE in danish.
"Ilter" means bad-tempered,- most people mistake the word and call them
"ilter" - even in pet-shops.  An old hunters-advice is to put eggshells or
cokes in your boots when hunting them.  They bite till they hear it crunch!
I had never been so close to one before.
 
I asked the owner if he was dangerous.  (The kids feared him!  They felt
very brave when squirting water on him with waterguns.) "Oh no" - he said -
"You can clean windows with him!  He is very nice!" He did not, however,
seem that keen about putting his fingers thru the bars.  He was certainly
for sale.  But I should be adviced, that he stinks.  The kids told me, that
Igor had only bitten their father once.  There was no blood.  I was a bit
afraid of Igor too, but I let him lick my finger.  We were friends.  But I
never heard of anyone keeping ferrets at home.
 
I fly glider planes (and motorplanes and helicopters), and I tried to get
someone from the Soaring club to buy him.  His cage was dirty, and I think
that he deserved better.  No one wanted to.  No one ever heard of anyone
having a ferret.  So I talked to Kirsten, and we agreed to try.  I went and
bought Igor, some food, the cage, a book about ferrets and the hammock for
$20.  (I tracked the former owner.  He had his shots and was 11 months
old.  - Igor, I mean!)
 
So Igor entered our summerhouse.  We let him stay in the cage for a while,
but in the evening I thought I would let him loose for a while...... WHAU!
 
STAMPEDE!
Igor thought: "WHEEE!  my cage is open!  - Let's examine this place!" He did
that.  In 48 seconds flat.  I am amazed, that he can remember, where he has
been!  He never examined the same place twice.  Igor LOVED it!  His fur and
his tail was puffed up, and he was chuckling and chipping wildly.  One of
the first things, he did, was to jump sideways towards Kirsten, jaws wide
open - she immediately jumped on the kitchen table.  Of course I am not
afraid of such small animals, so it was a pure coincidence, that I had
pulled my feet up in the couch.  Kirstens eyes were big and round.  She told
me to get "it" into the cage (she never calls animals "it"), she was afraid
of him!  I still did not want to admit my mistake.  So I told her, that he
was VERY sweet, but I would take him into the cage again.  I stepped down.
(Igor was eating some of the cat's food).
 
FEET ATTACK!
Then he attacked my feet.  I stood FLAT on them, so he couldn't get hold.
When I looked down, it looked like TWO ferrets trying to eat me, feet first.
Suddenly he released me for 200 milliseconds, he had to get both soles out
of some rubber boots by the door.  I got back into the couch.  He was VERY
disappointed when he returned to the spot, where the feet were.
 
THE SAUSAGE!
When Igor was in the cage, I had shown him a cat toy.  A red sausage with
cotton and catnip.  On it was written in german: Bockwurst.  I think it was
the catnip - he loved to sniff it, so I thought: "The sausage.  I can lure
him back in the cage with that!".  I held the sausage towards Igor, calling
"Heere, nice ilder, come on into the cage..." Igor jumped the sausage from 2
meters away.  Grabbed it and disintegrated it.  I was counting my fingers.
The cotton wool fell from the ceiling like snow.  Igor was moving some
candles to a better place under the cupboard.
 
THE CAPTURE!
Suddenly I saw a bag of dry food for cats.  I put it on the floor - and 0.1
seconds later, the ilder was in the bag.  I put him back into the cage,
where he immediately fell asleep in the hammock, his head on his tail.
 
Kirsten and I looked at each other. What had we done ?!?!?!
 
Anyway,- the next day I took him out again.  And of course, as you all know,
he had just needed to stampede a bit.  He had not been out of the cage for a
long time, actually he was very clumsy at the start, so I guess he had not
been out of the cage much.  No matter how dangerous he looked, when he
attacked, he would bite no more than a kitten.  Now his cage is open all the
time.  He is the funniest and nicest animal we have ever had.
 
Tonight, he escaped into an old carpenter workshop connected to our house.
He found an immense bag of polystyrene chips used for packing goods, you can
guess the rest.  I used 2 hours cleaning up.  But heck, as long as he has
fun......
 
Kent
[Posted in FML issue 1650]