Yet another Alaskan howdie ...
 
                           The Great Ferret Curse
 
If you remember, we are the family working to get the local school district
ban on ferrets lifted.  Last week there was an interesting event regarding
our daughter's grade school.  It seems that many of the rooms have been
taken over by voles, shrews, and mice.  There was considerable renovation
last year to add new classroms, etc., and the little critters took to living
in the wall spaces between the old and new construction.  Now they have
multiplied, and have become quite an irritation.  In fact, school may not
reopen after spring vacation if the problem is not cleared up.
 
It is my opinion that the school is besieged by a 'plague of vermin', a
curse, if you will.  With a bit of poetic license, the translation of the
family "Mustela" means *mouse weapon*.  Had the bureaucrats not created the
ban, perhaps our three fuzzies would not have spent untold hours over the
past few days walking backwards in circular fashion, making melodic clucking
noises. They *are* smarter than dogs!
 
                           Some More Observations
 
We have found that, to some extent, ferrets "are what they eat".  The
texture and even the color (to a small degree) of their fur changes with
their diet.  Last posting, I mentioned that nutrition seemed to play a part
in Tory's hair loss and subsequent regrowth.  Prior to his hair loss, Tory's
coat was white with dark tips on the guard hairs.  Our third ferret, Shadow,
was adopted from a family that could no longer keep him.  When we received
Shadow, he was probably pushing three and a half pounds, quite inactive, and
not very used to human interaction.  He would take a few steps and then have
to lie down.
 
We think he was possibly a litter-mate of our little female, Lori, so he is
about a year old.  He was being fed a 'house brand' of ferret food.  When he
came to us, his color was more butterscotch with darker feet and tail.  Now,
after about three or four months on a mixture of Science Diet, and Iams, and
a daily dose of Ferritone, and vitamins, his coat is darker, the guard hairs
stronger, and he has slimmed down to about two and three quarters pounds.
Lori and Tory keep him active, and he actually likes to be held for short
periods of time.  He also enjoys playing with the human side of the family.
 
I guess the point is that it is now difficult to tell Tory and Shadow apart
from a distance, when they were quite different prior to the change in diet.
Lori remains much darker than either of the males, though her fur seems to
be healthier.
 
                            Our Fuzzies are Just 'Ferrets'
 
I realize that the FML is a forum where disease can be addressed.  and
behavioral problems can be aired and solutions found, but our pets are
healthy little fur balls, and I am wondering if we are destined to have some
of these bad things befall us.  We have not been ferret owners very long
(two years), and we have learned a great deal from the FML, but basically we
have just let them be who and what they will.  I don't think they care if
they are BMWs (error intended) or not.  How many of you out there are just
sharing your lives and living space with nice, happy, loved, and loving
animals?
 
                            Gotta do it ... the joke.
 
Two feral ferrets saunter in to a bar.  The dominant animal says to the
bartender, "We would each like a frosty brew."
 
The bartender replies, "We don't serve frosty brews to feral ferrets in
this bar."
 
"I don't think you heard me.", the feral ferret retorts, "Give us each a
frosty brew!"
 
The bartender repeats himself, "We don't serve frosty brews to feral
ferrets in this bar ....  look at the sign on the wall."
 
"Forget the sign", the feral ferret snaps back. "Do you see that sleazily
dressed poodle at the end of the bar?"
 
"You mean the white poodle in the tight leather skirt, and the spiked high
heels?", the bartender answeres.
 
"The same.", hisses the feral ferret. "If you do not give us each a frosty
brew, we are going to eat that poodle up, head to toe."
 
"Do what you will", says the bartender, "but we don't serve frosty brews to
feral ferrets in this bar."
 
And so the two feral ferrets stroll accross the bar, and did, in two bites,
eat the poodle up head to toe.  Nothing remained but a single spiked high
heel spinning in the middle of the floor.
 
With a cocky determination, the feral ferrets walk back to the bartender and
pronounce, "We would each like a frosty brew."
 
"As I told you, we don't serve frosty brews to feral ferrets in this bar",
the bartender replies, "and further more we do not serve *drug users*
either."
 
"What's this stuff about drug users?", the feral ferrets exclaim in unison.
 
The bartender answers smugly, pointing to the end of the bar,
"Why, that was a *bar bitch you ate!*"
 
Good night!
 
Doug, Sue, Penny - Lori, Tory, and Shadow
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[Posted in FML issue 1504]