Hello all,
 
I thought I would tell everyone about Mortimer's harrowing adventure of last
weekend.  He discovered a breach in our ferret-proofing procedure and
managed to get himself stuck overnight underneath the sink cabinet.  There
was a 3-4 inch high space beneath the floor of the cabinet.  It's invisible
unless you get on your belly and peer up under the front overhang.  Anyway,
Mortimer got in there.  This was at my in-laws brand-spanking-new house.  I
was concerned that he might be able to get into the walls from that place,
but they said there were no holes under there.  It was late at night, so we
decided to wait and see if he came out on his own.  He didn't, so early the
next morning the guys unscrewed the cabinet and lifted it up enough for me
to reach under and drag Mortimer out.  Ugh.  If you haven't thought of it
yet, you should probably make sure there's no hidden spaces beneath the sink
cabinet.
 
I have an update on Mortimer's frequent poofing.  My vet says this is
marking behavior, and should go away within a couple of months.  (he's
recently neutered) It seems to be abating already (a poof every other day
instead of two in one day).  She also says that descenting is a MUCH more
uncomfortable procedure than neutering, and she doesn't like to do it
unnecessarily.  I've also found that the less I bathe my ferrets, the better
they smell.  Of course, if they roll in a potted plant, or frolic in
butterscotch pudding or something, they do need a bath.  But my two are
unbathed, they self-groom, and smell nice.  Sebastian smells very much like
chocolate, and Mortimer is starting to have a sweet smell also.  In fact,
inspired by the posting that said perfumes use mink extracts, I put some of
my favorite perfume on them (Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden).  After the
solvents had evaporated, they smelled like two little roses.  It was very
nice.
 
As to the shampoo thing, all shampoos actually have detergents in them.
Some detergents are strong, and go in window cleaners and laundry soap.  The
ones they use in shampoos are milder.  I've noticed they frequently use
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (Sodium Dodecyl Sulfate, or SDS), which is a detergent
we use in the lab to solubilize proteins.  If you've done any biochemistry,
you know you need a *mild* detergent for working with proteins.  Anyway,
that doesn't mean baby shampoo isn't harsh on hair and skin.  I got some
neat stuff from the pet store that is a dry shampoo.  I tried it on
Mortimer, back when he still smelled like an unneutered hob, and it worked
pretty well.  I imagine that it is much milder on the skin and hair than
liquid shampoos, because it doesn't solubilize and strip off the oils, just
sort of soaks up the excess grease, leaving some on the hair.
 
I am currently collecting true ferret stories, anecdotes, whatever for
either a magazine article or a book.  I've noticed that the FML seems to
come up with amusing or interesting stories frequently.  If you have an
interesting *true* tale to tell about a ferret, and would like to allow me
to interview you, contact me via email ([log in to unmask]).  Include a
brief summary of the incident, and I'll write back to you for the details.
We could also talk on the phone, meet over lunch, whatever.  :) I won't be
using anything from the FML without talking to the poster first.  Somehow I
don't think that would be fair.  This is meant purely for entertainment.  I
won't be including any information on ferret care, legalization, illnesses,
nail clipping, or anything else you could learn from much more informed
people than I.  Some categories that interest me: humorous episodes; death
defying, daring, or otherwise scary scrapes; ferret hunting; anything that
makes people laugh a lot or gasp in surprise when you tell it to them.  Some
things I am not soliciting: original writing or poetry (I'm not an editor or
a publisher), second or third hand accounts (if you weren't there, put me in
touch with someone who was), stories of ferrets killing babies (not even),
educational materials (again), anything having to do with animal rights or
medical research (this is a happy, friendly project), and experiences with
other members of the mustelid family that don't involve ferrets.
 
If this pans out, I'll certainly share the results with the list.
 
-Catherine Shaffer
[Posted in FML issue 1443]