Here it is Friday again.  I got kinda lonesome and snucked out of the
bedroom to see what I could get into.  Besides, somebody has to keep all
those cats in line.  Mee Maw and Paw Paw would usually have come to bed by
now but it's Friday - their night to sit up late and get kinda crazy.
Tonight is a little different than usual.
 
As I ran through the den, I noticed that Mee Maw was watching a program on
the Discovery Channel about some critters in Africa.  They were sorta cute
but they got a long way to go to be as cute as ferrets.  When I squozed
under the living room door and entered into the pooter farm, I expected to
find Paw Paw, writing his usual Friday night letter to the FML, but he
wasn't there.  I didn't waste much time in going to look for the Old Fert.
Well, I did take the time to stash his Goofy hat under the sofa.  I never
did like the way that thing kept looking at me.
 
I finally found him in the kitchen.  Oh yeah.  He's pretty much over his flu
thing but he still looks pretty green around the gills.  I heard him telling
Mee Maw last night that, if he felt any better he'd probably feel like
doodoo.  He went on to say that he sure was glad that he didn't feel any
better 'cause he'd sure hate to feel like doodoo.
 
Anyway, when I found him in the kitchen, he was studying the back of a TV
dinner box.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was holding it
upside down.  I war danced around the room until I got his attention.  When
he finally noticed me, he said, "You know, Lil' Guy, I just don't understand
it.  I've followed all these directions.  I cooked this thing in the nooker
for 8 minutes like it says to do - I'm pretty sure I got that part right.
What really has me bumfuzzled now is that the last instruction says to let
it 'stand' for 3 minutes.  How in the world am I going to do that?  I've
already tried standing it up on one end but all that happened was that all
the juice ran out and made a mess in the microwave that Mee Maw is going to
kill me for.
 
"Realizing that I'd probably misinterpreted the instructions, I turned it
over and started looking to see if it had any feets to stand on.  Heck, It
doesn't even have any legs for feets to attach to, and now I've made even
more mess that Mee Maw's going to give me what for about."
 
Being the helpful little feller that I am, I helped him examine the soggy,
dripping package.  He was absolutely right - it didn't have no feets or legs
whatever.  How in the world can this thing be expected to stand for three
minutes?  Maybe it's just a joke that one of the cats dreamed up.  Anyway, I
helped him out the best I could by licking up some of the juice which was
still oozing from the package.  Hmmm.  Mexican, my favorite.  Yum.  Ruh Roh!
Outta my way.  Now where did I hide my water dish?
 
After I had quenched my thirst, both Paw Paw and Mee Maw came to bed.  I'm
not sure whether or not the ol' guy ever got to eat his dinner.  I'm still
puzzling over how a cardboard tray can be expected to stand when it ain't
got the equipment to do so.  I'm sure that Paw Paw would have figured it out
eventually if he'd been feeling better.  Maybe somebody out there can write
us and tell us how to drive these TV dinner thingies.  I sure don't want my
Paw Paw to starve to death.
 
Many much hugs, loves, kisses and dooks from,
 
Tater ( The best thing that ever happened to Mee Maw and Paw Paw )
[Posted in FML issue 1473]