Got some cool questions I thought I would share just to make you all feel
grateful I was gone for so long!
 
1) Why does my ferret's color change from time to time?  Good question.  I
think becuase they are just so spiteful that they change colors just to
confuse those of us with more than two fuzzbuckets.  Actually, most mammals
have at least a slight color change between seasons, when shedding takes
place.  Usually the coat is lighter in winter and darker in summer.  This is
very pronounced in mustelids, especially in the weasels who can turn
completey white in winter.  Remember that ferrets are polecats, and polecats
are weaselids.  Canids, felids, and many rodents also turn white in the
winter.  My guess, and from watching my hoard I think it's true, is the
colors tend to be darker in summer and lighter in winter, and the trait is a
throwback to their nondomesticated ancestry.
 
2) Are ferrets really a danger to the California wildlife?  Excellent
question.  Only if the wildlife is naked and dancing in bars.  Ok, don't get
in a huff.  Ferrets are domesticated polecats, and have the potiential to
become a problem.  However, I also have the potiential of being hit by a
comet tomorrow morning, so it doen't mean much.  In nature, a niche can be
filled by only one species.  This rule is so rigid that in many predators
(like polecats) the males are larger than the females, so they can fill
slightly different niches and remain in the same area.  The rule is, if two
different species inhabit the same niche, one will either go extinct, move
away, or change some aspect of the niche in order to make it different.
 
Darwin also correctly pointed out that in a conflict for a specific niche,
the better (or most fit) of the two species will win.  For ferrets to become
a problem in Ca-Ca land, they have to be a better predator than the local
ones, which includes coyote, mink, several weasels, grey fox, and feral cats
and dogs.  No where else in the world has the ferret been able to take a
niche over from these species, and in fact, the mink and the feral
carnivores have managed to seriously deplete the polecat population in Great
Britain.
 
The question also ignores the fact that the ferret, after the polecat, is a
smell-hunter rather than a sight-hunter.  For example, cats, once they
associate movement to prey to food, will hunt anything that moves.  Ferrets
will only go after those things that they recognize, by odor, as food, and
birds don't smell like rats.
 
Last, there is a big difference between feral populations and stray animals.
Feral populations are basically self-sustaining, while strays are limited to
the life span of the individual.  Most ferrets are neutered, while most cats
and dogs are not.  To make the point, The Audubon Society's "Field Guide to
North American Mammals" recognizes feral pig, goat, horse, sika, fallow and
sambar deer, Barbary sheep, black rat, house mouse, Rhesus monkey, dog, and
cat as feral or introduced mammals, but not a single mention of the ferret,
which has been in the country as long as the cat.  Add to the list scores of
plants, birds, fishes, and reptiles, and there is quite a list.  I think if
the ferret COULD have become feral, it would have long ago.  The Ca-Ca Fish
and Gestapo love to cite stray ferrets as "feral animals" while at the same
promoting flocks of pheasants, definately not an animal native to the state.
What can I say?  They are idiots, and need to take a third grade refresher
course in basic biology.
 
3) Do you really have 14 ferrets?  Nope.  I have 19 ferrets.  (Deep breath)
Moose (3), Stella (3), Daye (2.5), Bear (2.5), Tori (1), Apollo (4+), Gus
(4+), Nosette (4+), Balistic (4+), Simon (4+), Buddy (7), Foster (10), Razz
(5), Chrys (1), Sam (4+), Crystal (5+), Trillium (4+), Sandy (4+), and
Fraggle (4+).  (Whew!) Yes, all run together, yes, they sometimes fight, no,
they do not hurt each other, yes, that IS a lot of poop, and no, 20 is my
limit.  At least for now.
 
The bigest problem is the vet bills, but they are more than worth it!  Well,
maybe the biggest problem is telling Sandy from Crystal from Tori from
Fraggle.  They are all albinos about the same size.  Crystal is missing gobs
of hair, so she's easy.  Fraggle has a bad eye, so she's easy if the face is
seen.  But Tori and Sandy are hard.  I painted the tips of Sandy's tail blue
and Tori's red (with veggie dye, NOT spraypaint) to help out, but I'm
thinking of cool tatoos in the long run.  (Just a joke...)
 
Well, the box is filled with cool questions, so I will enlighten more of
you later (He he)...
 
Mo' Bob and the 19 Fuzzbuckets
[Posted in FML issue 1674]