Paw Paw done warned us that BIG might get mad if we told this story.  We
fingered that we would give it a try anyways since it ain't really about
BBQ.  Well, there's a little stuff about BBQ in it so folks that don't like
the subject can just read somethin' else.
 
He was drivin' home in the truck after havin' delivered some stuff that Mee
Maw had made to a politician's office.  As usual, he was listenin' to an AM
radio classical station that he used to work for back in the dinosaur age.
They was playin' somethin' called Ravel's Bolero.  He told us that he likes
the piece a lot but that it sounds pretty dull on AM radio - whatever that
is.  He commenced to punchin' the buttons on the radio thingy, lookin' for
somethin' decent to listen to.
 
The way he told it to us, he came upon a newscast that was talkin' about a
survey that some newspooper repooper done did.  Seem's that he done stopped
40 people at random on the streets of somethin' called New Yak City.  He
askeded everyone of them if they knowed what happened on July 4, 1776.  Only
nine of them folks got the answer right - and they had all posigrated here
from other countries.
 
Paw Paw got to feelin' real bad that so many people was only semiedumicated
and didn't even know how their own counrty done got started.  The further he
drived, the worser he felted.  He finally decided that some BBQ would cheer
him up a whole lot.  He stopped at the store and boughted a whole bunch of
sauce ingrediments and half of a dead hawg critter.  We don't know if the
hawg critter is goin' to be as good as the dead cow he cooked a few weks
ago, but we sure has our hopes.  We sure hope that the Oldtimer's Disease
leaves him alone just long enough to make that moppin' sauce again.  We'll
let you know how it turns out.  We finger that it might just be gooder than
raisins.
 
Anyway, we just wanna remind all the ferts and folks out there that July 4th
is a big and special holiday.  Way back in 1776, some nice folks fingered
that some other folks was doin' bad things to them cause they just didn't
know no better.  Them other folks wasn't really bad; they just didn't
realize how much they was hurtin' other folks.  Both sides fussed for awhile
and then everything was OK.  The Newnited States of America gotted borned as
a result.  We's been friends with them other folks ever since.  Well, they
did burn Warshington back in 1812.  They just was stilll kinda mad, but they
gotted over it.
 
Well, you folks probably get the picture by now.  If it wasn't for the stuff
that done got did way back then, wouldn't none of us be here today bein'
able to does the things we does.  We think that makes this day pretty
special.  We don't think that it's important how different folks are.  What
really matters to us is when folks put aside their differences and joins
together to make somethin' better than what was.  We specially likes it when
folks that used to fuss a lot find that they has lots of other things in
common that they don't need to fuss about no more.
 
Anyway, that's the way we looks at it.  Guess we better stop writin' now.
Paw Paw just noticed that we done stoled and hid his most of his secret
sauce ingrediments before we started typin' this letter.  Reckon should we
tell him where they is hid?
 
Happy Independence Day, America.  To eveybody who don't live here, we say,
"Joy to the World." There's room on this ol' planet for everybody.
 
Many much dooks and loves,
 
Tater and Odie.
 
PS: The Ol' fert just tried to find the letters of folks who wanted to read
parts of his book.  He couldn't find none of them so we figures that the
cats has done been bad agaIn.  Anybody who's still interested oughta send
him another mail so's he can remember to send the stories this time.
[Posted in FML issue 1621]