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From:
Sukie Crandall <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Thu, 28 Dec 1995 16:53:56 -0500
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We all know that if something appears in a book, or newspaper, or both (Wow!
Both?  Yes, both!) that it MUST be true; therefore, I refer you to page 125
of the book by Scott Adams titled: It's Obvious You Won't Survive by Your
Wits Alone.  In answer to a series of questions Dogbert points out that
heart attacks come from eating too many cows, that the California drought
can be traced to water subsidies for cows, and that cow gas is a cause of
global warming; he then assures Ruebert that cows are better organized than
one would think.  Now, this leads to several logical conclusions: 1.  that
cow-tipping ferrets are attempting to save the world, 2.  that they are
trying to saveCalifornia in particular, 3.  that the cows are paying off
certain CA, NYC, DC, Sierra Club, and HSUS officials, 4.  that the AHA and
AHS are incorruptible, and 5.  that in recent years they could no longer pay
off MA, MI and NH officials.  It is time the people of oppressed areas woke
up and heard the cow bells, folks!
 
This was typed by Sukie in her sleep after I hypnotized her.
 
If you want to verify this do not go to pseudoscientists like astrologers,
numerologists, and psychics.  Ask your ferret!!!
 
        Meltdown
 
PS The source of the 'ferrets kill cows' garbage was an old worry/myth (also
asserted for prairie dogs, ground-nesting owls, and a host of other
critters) that ungulates, being so very stupid,would repeatedly break legs
in holes and croak (and that any type of ferret would go feral and make tons
of holes, which does not mesh with reality), but ungulates are not that
stupid (at least not often), as Daisy cow will now prove: Hello, I am Daisy;
you will remember me from many ancient commercials.  One thing has really
bothered me about some recent posts.  People are again confusing viverids
such as the mongoose, with mustelids such as Meltdown.  Oh, and Bob, I would
have enjoyed horizons given (Heck, I am not perfect, even though I am a cow;
therefore, like everyone I know somethings and lack in others.) in the NW to
OW to NW Mustelids through the Ages post (but S.  will ask for those refs.
for me when she has a chance to write).
 
Speaking of origins, we got into Waar... here a few years before FURO,
right after a Science News article on same.  At the time it was an oft
repeated progression.
[Posted in FML issue 1427]

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