When you stand up does your shadow resemble a pear instead of a banana?
Find yourself telling business associates, "My winter fur is just really
fluffy this year." Tried to chew on your tail and just keep getting a nose
full of belly?  Is this the year that you are going to be buff for the
beach?  Is your war dance barely getting off the ground?  Do you find
yourself slipping back to bed before you get 2nds on begging treats?  Is
rolling over and yawning your idea of a workout?  RUDYCO Products has just
what you need to get the job done.
 
Make 96 the year that those New Year's resolutions become reality!  The two
workout products we offer will help you reach your goal.  The Belly Buster
(TM) and the Ferret Fitdancer (TM) will make you a firm ferret in less time
and with less hassle than you thought ever would be possible.
 
The Belly Buster will tighten those flabby abs.  in no time by isolating
them for a concentrated work out.  Place the anatomically designed base
against your belly and grab the handles with your front paws.  Pull the
handles towards you as you curl and try to lick the top of the Belly Buster.
There is a special depression to hold a drop of linatone to add incentive.
Be warned, the design will only let you taste it with an extreme effort and
proper form.  The dynamic tension created by this motion will strengthen
your abs.  and give you the 6 pack you want.  But, this is just part of the
total fitness system RUDYCO has for you.
 
We know that spot reducing is a myth and that aerobic exercise is the key to
shedding that "fluffy fur" you aren't proud of.  Our answer is the Ferret
Fitdancer, a device that uses an effortless natural motion to burn away the
inches.  Just mount the device and put each paw in the specially designed
retaining pedal/handle.  Extend to full stretch and then arch your back as
you pull on the pedals to fully flex your body.  Then, you just repeat this
extension and flexion in a smooth continuous motion.  Just like War Dancing
and all the fun!!  The crunch required at full flexion supplements the Belly
Buster and the extension targets the opposing back muscles.  Almost every
muscle is involved to reach your aerobic fat burning zone with little effort
and the movement is just hard enough to prevent overexertion into the
anaerobic cycle.  The real wonder is that it only takes 10 minutes a day to
get results.  Scientific design makes proper use easier than cheating.  We
can assure you that after one week you will really sky when you war dance.
 
Our equipment is made of space age materials that will last forever
(recycled cigarette filters) and crafted in our modern facility.  We ship
factory direct and pass the savings on to you.  The Belly Buster is just
$9.95 (plus $75.05 S & H).  The Fitdancer is given away for the amazing
price of $19.95 (plus $100.05 S & H).  Our 5 day credit plan is just like
cash (with a small carrying fee).  Act now and we include our "Paws of
Steel" workout video (see how I avoided the obvious pun?) that takes you
through our gradual exercise routines and gives diet tips.  This total
package will melt the flab and add slabs of rippling sinew.
 
Just call 1 800 FIT FUZZ or, in CA, 1 800 FIT FURO (this small simple change
will make you legal).  Operators are standing by.  We ship overseas to
return that foreign glut of American dollars back to our shores.  The price
is the same, just double the S & H charges (US funds only).  We back our
products with our 30 day money back guarantee.  Use the equipment in the
comfort of your home for 30 days and we guarantee you won't get your money
back.  What are we going to do with your used goods?
 
Coming soon - our video KUNG FUR workout series based on the ancient secrets
of the Chinese polecats.  Our 10th dook black mask, Grand Pathmaster Bruce
Williamslee, will show you how these fighting and healing arts can benefit
you in just 5 minutes a day.  Empty paws, the way of the claw, animal
techniques, sock forms, and the art of seizing are just some of the
mysteries he will reveal in a format that makes it simple for a common
ferret.  He teaches meditation techniques to slow the heart and use corpse
breathing that will fool friends and owners alike in thinking you've walked
the bridge.  Imagine the fun at parties and frolics!  You won't want to miss
this series.
 
   ( )--(a)
   (@=@=) \     Till next time.......Rudy the ferlosopher
   O__)  \ \___
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      /\ * )  \
[Posted in FML issue 1440]