Well, there I was, depressed over the passing of my SO's daddy, a dear sweet
man whom I shall forever hold near to my heart, suffering from lack of
sleep, and trying to get stuff finished I had promised weeks ago to people
in power over my academic life, when I took a moment or two to catch up
reading the last 7 or 8 FMLs.  (Right, like that could take a few moments).
What should I stumble on, but some crazy story about a ferret hero fighting
crime.  I laughed so hard I started coughing, then just about lost my
dinner.  Very very funny.  The last time I nearly puked from laughing was
when I was a photographer, and a number of us were bouncing off each other
to get a shot of Brooke Shields at the San Diego Wild Animal Park.  She
asked, "What should I do?" and one of the photographers said "What you do
best; reflect light." And then to read about the ferret/cat wars.  And the
ferret exercise stuff.  I feel much better now, thank you.  All I can say
is, "MORE!"
 
Regarding Vets.  This is not intended to be a flame, just an observation.  I
have nothing but respect for anyone who can find a path through the US
educational system, make it through graduate-level work, and then work for
very little money.  Because there are fewer veterinarian schools than med
schools in the USA, and the competition is so high, the requirements to be
accepted into vet school are harder than most med schools.  The people who
are accepted are very bright (which is somewhat relative when you figure
entry-level vets make 30-50 grand a year; easily doubled or tripled by most
graduated Drs).  They are not vets because of greed or lack of intelligence.
I have met few Drs who have treated me with the compassion and caring that
every vet I have known has treated my pets, and as most of you know, I have
seen my share of both.
 
Vets have the same problem than many professionals face, which is, the world
is full of experts in their field.  Almost everyone you meet knows more
about your field than you do, and they tell you so.  Little thought is given
to four years of undergraduate study, and from four to ten years of graduate
work (depending on the profession).  As for myself, I've invested seven
years already, and I'll be lucky if I'm finished in four more years.  This
isn't slamming the "average" person; some of these people ARE experts--they
have the time to extensively study a particular subject, or thay might have
extensive experience in the field.  But most of the experts are not, (the
worst being those who have expert knowledge based on a single introductory
undergraduate course, or a reading of a popular book on the subject), but
they will loudly flame you anyway when you disagree with them.
 
I study animal bones, and often drop in on my forensics friends (their lab
is across the hall from mine, and the only room than smells worse) and give
them a hard time.  I usually taunt them by remarking that while they might
be good with one species, human, I have to be just as good with hundreds of
species, and not just mammals, but birds, amphibians, and reptiles as well.
The same is true with vets over medical drs., only my mistakes are just
embarassing; I can't kill a bone.  While most mammalian biological systems
are similar, there are just enough physiological differences to make the
task difficult.  The task is even more difficult given the amount of
communication a sick human gives to a physican compared to that given to a
vet by a sick ferret.  When you consider the average small animal vet might
see 20 or more animals a day, ranging from birds to frogs to dogs, cats, and
ferrets, and they do this for sometimes seven days a week, often late at
night, all for 40K a year, the special character of these people becomes
evident.  They deserve our respect and our attention, because few do what
they have done.
 
As for the prices my vets commands?  As a graduate student that doesn't play
football, or make bombs and other defence department toys, I pay to learn.
There are few free rides in my particular field.  I also am the parent of
FOUR teenagers; two in college.  My best chance of getting a new used-car
this year is by winning the lottery.  I have no understanding of the term
"spare change." Learning is hard enough; most grad students drop out because
they get tied of calling a wiener and beans "Thanksgiving Dinner." Yet I
willingly pay whatever I am asked, and yesterday it cost me $25 per ferret
for exam, rabies, distemper, and ear mite treatments.  I have 13 ferrets;
you count it out.  Lets just say I won't be seeing any movies this month.  I
am fully capable of doing most of the exam myself, including injections: I
have certainly done thousands of them on animals and humans.  But I am not a
vet, I am an evolutionary paleobiologist/zooarchaeologist, and I recognize a
vet has training and experience I lack.  When I pay my vet 25 bucks, it
helps pay their bills, salary their staff, heat the pet storage area, buy
medicines, pay for required continuing education, and a host of other things
we don't even know about.  25 bucks is a cheap price to pay for a vet to be
on call to save the life of one of my fuzzies, should the need arise.
 
Vets are like all of us; some are jerks, and some are "book-bright and
ability-dumb." Most are neither.  Most are underpaid, overworked, and never
appricated.  Here on the FML, we have vets willing to give free advice, and
take heat for doing it.  I know of several instances where FMLers have
personally communicated with FML vets, taking time from their practice and
personal lives to help someone they don't know for no recompensation.  And
when you consider that the hobby of many americans seem to be law suits,
they are taking a visible risk.  I just want to say that I am very thankful
for Drs. Williams, Weiss, and Dutton (and any others I have to stupidity to
forget the wee hours of this morning) for making us feel better when the
fuzzies are sick, or childing us into better pet care, or just telling the
truth even when it hurts.  Thank you so much.
 
I'm sorry this was long, but "our" vets are too polite and classy to point
these things out. I am neither polite nor classy.  I'm just Bob.
 
Bob and the 13 Misfits of Science
[Posted in FML issue 1458]