As part of a book I'm working on, I was *forced* to go out and get _The
Happy Mutant Handbook_ :-) (far it be it from me to *ever* have to force
myself to buy a book!!!  ha ha) Anyway, the ferret is listed as the third
best "mutant" pet (trust me, it's a compliment...) THis is what they say
about them....some of it's a little off, but the book is writen with
*extreeme* humor in mind, and the selection of pets is no diffrent.  For
example, the first best mutant pet is a piranha.  Then a sea monkey, a
ferret, an Iguana, a cicada, Artificial Life, a Chia Pet and a rock.  In
other words, I'm posting this a *humor*, not a call for all you ferret-types
to call up the editors and complain.  :-)
 
Characteristics: Long, furry, snouted.  Rodentlike, but actually can hunt
                 and kill rodents for sport.
Where can I get one? Well stocked pet stores.
Care: Mid maintenance.  Feed daily.  When cage kicks up strong stench,
                        clean it.
Cool Factor: Weird looking.
Pet Peve: Nervous and stinky.
 
Now, let's deconstruct, shall we?  :-)  I don't think my two would do much
with a rodent.  I could be wrong.  They are wierd looking.  I don't think of
them as nervous...rather, they're...hyper.  And they do smell...
 
But let's face it.  The best reason they're a mutant pet is because they can
teleport.  I have proof....I was in my kids' bedroom yesterday morning
talking to them when....OH! Coco crawled out from under their (bunk)bed.
Argh!  No ferret zone!!!  He'd used his little teeth to force open the cage
door when it didn't get shut quite tight enough.  When I caught him and put
him back in the cage....Simmie was PISSED OFF.  He'd escaped and had free
run of the whooole house (including ferret-free zones) for who-knows how
long, and she'd been stuck in the cage as the door shut again.  She's just
not as smart as he is.
 
Mutant pets, indeed.....
Laurel Gilbert                               *        "It's Millennium
                                                    Madness.  Just a few
[log in to unmask]                 |         more looney-tune years to
                                                       go until
http://www.bgsu.edu/~lgilber/        |         2000.  Happens every thousand
                                                      years."
BGSU, Ohio, USA                 *               --Timothy Leary
[Posted in FML issue 1431]