The People Vs. F'ertagnan.
Cast : Judge (NH), Prosecutor (FDI Agent Gabby), Defense (Me), F'ertagnan
(himself), Jury (Sabre, Andromeda, and Kyyreen)
 
Judge : You have been charged with the following crimes:
Being too Cute; Breaking and entering into forbidden places to ferretkind;
Conning your hooman s to spend all of their money on you; Harassing the FDI
agents; Kidnapping Squeaky Toys and holding them hostage at toothpoint;
Playing with the computer; Pooping in corners that only you knew about;
Impersonating Houdini; Stealing writing implements; Stealing everything on
the floor you can get your teeth on; Stealing keys; Stealing the TV remote;
Stealing your hooman's shoes; Stealing the phone; Unlawful entry into
visitors belongings (i.e. Lady's purses).  How do you plead?
 
F'ertagnan : Not Guilty...Dooka...I m CUTE
 
(The evidence and testimony of the trial has been ordered sealed by the
judge to protect the identities of members of the FLO and their allies.
However the closing arguments have been released...let s go to those now...)
 
Prosecutor : Hobs, Jills, Gibs, and Sprites of the Jury, the evidence we
have gathered and presented to you in this court room, against the defendant
F'ertagnan, is astonishing.  The pictures of his numerous hidey holes, where
he deposited the evidence of his numerous crimes are enough to prove that he
is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.  The Council for the Defense has
brought in many witnesses which have testified on his behalf, however, may I
remind you that they are mostly FLO agents, all of which engage in similar
lives of crime.  Therefore I beseech you to convict this ferret of the
heinous crimes he has committed.
 
Defense : My fellow ferret friends of the jury.  The so called Evidence that
the prosecutor has presented to you, is nothing more than fabrications, and
pictures of crimes committed by the FDI forces.  As for those terrible
accusations, look at his face...now is that the face of a hardened criminal?
I think not.  Do justice, do what is right, and free this ferret to live a
life of joy.
 
Judge : Jury, during your deliberations, only consider the facts presented
to you in this court by both sides.  Don t allow your own feelings and
opinions to influence your decision.  In order to convict him, you must be
convinced beyond a reasonable doubt.  The fate of this ferret, lies in your
paws.
 
(Jury deliberation has also been ordered sealed by the judge)
 
...Jury files back into courtroom...
 
Judge : Have you reached a verdict?
 
Jury Foreferret : Yes we have your Honor.
 
Judge : Please read the verdict.
 
Jury Foreferret : Not Guilty by reason of Cuteness.
 
Judge : You are free to go F'ertagnan
 
F'ertagnan : Dooka, thank you my ferret peers!!! I AM CUTE!!!!
 
Well, I have posted a few times, but never introduced myself...I am
Christina, (live in a ffz, thus the anon post) and I have 4 furry friends.
Sabre (albino, F, 2yrs, has a sabre tooth on the bottom), F'ertagnan (the
unabashadly CUTE Sable, M, 2yrs...If he want s something or does something
wrong, he will roll over on his back, cross his precious little paws, sigh,
and give me a look like I m CUTE, You can t deny ME anything!!!  ) Then
there s Andromeda and Kyyreen, the pudgy twins (f, 4months, silver mitt.
Andromeda s legs are black, and has a wannabe blaze and dark circles around
her eyes, no mask (kinda looks like Bob Churches?  Stella in the photo
gallery, but silver), and Kyyreen has siamese markings.)
 
I ve really enjoyed the FML (thanks everyone and BIG!!!).  Also wanted to
say thanks to the 2 people who came out to the district meeting on Friday
(we had 4 total...sorry again for the short notice...I know many people
couldn t change work schedules...but the meeting went very well).  And to
everyone who has lost a fuzzy recently, or has a sick one, my thoughts are
with you all.
 
Well, I better go before this gets too long :)
Christina, Sabre, F'ertagnan, Andromeda, and Kyyreen. <<: ",))( )((,~~~~~
[Posted in FML issue 1561]