Dear FML: They say things happen in three's and I guess I believe that now,
because after losing Dusk, I lost Zoe and a week and a half after Zoe, I
lost my Shadow.  I had to retreat emotionally and physically for a few days.
Shadow was a very special ferret-person and I would like to share his story
with you.
 
It was approximately six years ago that I decided to add another ferret to
our family.  Something I have been known to do with great frequency over the
years.  With a house of sable ferrets, I decided that we really needed
another color.  At the time, I had a choice of a lovely cinnamon hob from a
local breeder or a black-eyed white that had come into Pam & John Grant's
shelter.
 
With the cinnamon and the black-eyed white out to play, I took a look at the
shelter ferrets up for adoption.  One poor fellow caught my attention - an
extremely thin ferret with a raw back and a beautiful face with large
expressive eyes.  Those eyes got to me and I asked Pam if I could hold him.
I was shocked over his condition.  Pam, however, used to dealing with sad
cases - was more practical.  She told me the raw back was from fleas, that
he had already gained weight and had had several baths, which seemed to make
him feel better.  When I tried to return him to his cage, he twisted and
reached for me, clutching hard.  He definitely did not want back in the cage
and so I asked if he could come out to play while I made my decision on the
other two.
 
Well, to make a long story short, after agonizing over which of the two
pretty ferrets I wanted, all the  while holding the sad case, Pam told me to
give it up - I was bonding to the poor sable baby.  Adoption was rapidly
concluded and I went home with my skeletal ferret wondering if I had lost my
mind. He was named Shadow because he was practically just that.  His age was
also estimated to be 2 or 3 years, and so I did not expect to have him for
more that a couple of years..
 
He adored the other ferrets at home right from the start, and despite his
condition was eager for play.  Frisky was Not Amused, and spent most of the
time hissing at him.  These two were soon to be inseperable.  When it came
time to put the ferrets up in cages for the night, Shadow freaked.  He did
not, and would not stay in a cage, and my trying to keep him in one was
fruitless.  He would have seriously injured himself in his bid for freedom.
Not hard to imagine what his life had been like.  So, it was at that time my
ferrets started to stay out on a 24 hour basis.
 
It also soon became apparent that Shadow had a food problem.  Directly
opposite from those who will not eat, he ate, and ate, and ate.  He slept by
the food bowl.  He tried to, and sometimes managed to, drag a crock bowl off
to hide it.  When I got larger and heavier bowls, he would pull something
over the food, or drop toys in to cover the food.  I started keeping several
bowls around and full to the brim, because if a bowl got low - he would
systematically eat the rest, and hide what he could not get down.  Needless
to say, I soon had a large ferret and one who had grown into what had seemed
a too long tail.  He also came into coat and I discovered he was quite a
beautiful boy.  Naturally, I am never predjudiced!  It was a very long time
before Shadow understood and learned that his food supply was not going to
disappear.  Thank God the Grant's got hold of him before it was too late.
In fact, the following summer, John, upon seeing him again, suggested I show
him.  However, I was not "into" shows at the time.
 
As I have said before, time is but a moment and moments seem to go very
fast.  Shadow was a pivot in my house.  I cannot begin to express in words
how much I loved this special ferret.  He was so affectionate and gentle.
And he got along well with all of the ferrets.  New ferrets, whether hob or
jill, adult or kit, bonded to him.  The only problem I can even think of
right now, is that he had a tendency to carry off kits and "put them away"
in one of his special places.  Pepper, my care ferret, also does this.  He
held his own with rambunctious hobs and they respected him.  "We respect
'choo, God Fader".
 
When he wanted something, he could climb right up me and stick his nose and
mouth against my mouth, and hold it there.  Looking at him cross-eyed from
close proximity, I would try to figure out what it was he wanted.  All of my
ferrets get greeted with a mouth kiss, and Shadow often required several of
those, before I could leave the house.  He, like several of the others, were
great squeaky toy addicts, and he spent a lot of time retrieving and putting
them away.
 
He also like to put my shoes away for me.  Only since he did not tell me
where, I often had many frustrating searches.  Shokie, Sparky and a couple
of the others like this project too.  This is why I have dozens of shoes.
Ahem!.
 
Then, several years ago, the dread "greenies" struck us.  All of the ferrets
were ill within an 18 hour period, except for my Canadians.  Frisky, a long
term lymphatic cancer and pancreatic basil cell carcinoma survivor, was
lost.  Shadow and my other oldtimers, were hard hit.  Shadow went into an
angry grief - ripping up squeaky toys all day.  I started purchasing them by
bulk.  He went through 6 to 10 a day for weeks.  I thought I would lose him
too, but gradually he came out of it.  He developed a bony back and did not
come into coat again for over a year.  It was during this time that he
started to eat freshly cooked chicken, turkey or roast beef (which all kits
get in my house).  My guys get served this once a day on a paper plate.  And
believe me, Shadow knew what time it was supposed to appear before him, and
if it didn't - I would get the nose and mouth against mine until I produced
it.  Many a night I have made late runs to Boston Market or for honey
roasted chicken breast at Roy's.
 
When Shadow came into coat a year and a half ago, I decided to show him at
an up-coming ferret show.  I wanted to have a certficiate to remember him
by.  His was, at the time, maybe 8, and I had never shown him, because of
his age.  Best time for show is usually between kit to three years.  Much to
my delight and surprise, he placed in top ten's in a three ring show against
a large entry of alters.  Wow!  One judge held him up and commented that no
matter how old he was, they just didn't come better than this, and showed
his coat.  His highest place was 2nd.  I entered him in the next show and
again he placed, as well as taking a best in specialty.  Needless, to say,
his mommy was thrilled.  When I judge, I always check the age on the ferret
I am judging and this is given consideration.  However, althouth I knew
Shadow-man was looking good, I still didn't expect any ribbons or trophys.
 
Ah, now the hard part.  Shadow helped my nurse Dusk during his last days -
such a short while ago.  He seemed more fragile after Dusk's passing and
would often sit up and scent the air.  I knew he was looking for his friend.
I gave him lots of extra love and lots of freshly sliced turkey breast.  I
bought him new toys and carried him around with me.  I picked him up at
night a tucked him close when I slept.  Zoe's illness and passing was so
swift (I still have not come to terms with her loss), I was distracted for a
few days.  He seemed thinner after Zoe left us, and so I added Duck Soup
twice a day and he gained a little weight.  Last Sunday, he slipped while
climbing on the bed and fell hard.  I checked him over - especially his old
bones, and he seemed to be all right.  The following night and while talking
on the phone to Troy Lynn Eckert, I found a splotch of blood on the bathroom
floor.  I started checking ferrets.  Soon, Shadow went back into the
bathroom and left another splotch - it was coming from his urethra.  It was
after hours for vets, and I was not sure if this was something from the
fall, or if he had hematuria (blood in the urine, usually from bladder
infection).  I started him on an antibiotic good for genito-urinary
problems, just to be sure, and kept a watch.  He ate and again voided - this
time it was only pink tinged.  However, by the following morning, he was
unable to urinate.  I made an emercency appointment with the vet - I feared
for the worst.
 
And the worst was what it was.  His vet was unable to catherize him and did
several x-rays.  When I saw them, I said "Oh, My God".  It looked like
massive pertonitis.  His vet still had him under anesthesia while he talked
to me.  "Can't we try to save him?" "No, Meg, you know what you saw - I
expect a ruptured bladder or kidney.  You have to let him go." I knew.  I
knew.  But it was so hard.
 
His vet left me alone with him after he was gone.  I picked him up and
carried him to the window and looked out at the beautiful day while I wept.
"Ah, my dear Shadow, you loved so to be in the open window sill on beautiful
days.  How you hated the strong screen that kept you in.  Fly now, my
beautiful Shadow.  Fly to Dusk and Zoe and your beloved Frisky."
 
My heart is very heavy as I carry there my beloved ferrets gone so swiftly
from me.  They will every be a part of me and so are not truly gone.  I weep
in grief for my loss.  But my Shadow is free from burden of pain.  On
necropsy, it was found he had a large, invasive turmor on his bladder.  His
vet told me that the hemorrhage into the peritoneum was from the tumor.  But
I know in my heart that he was ready to pass over the rainbow bridge.  Thank
you God for bringing this wonderful ferret to me and giving me so much time
to love him.  meg.
[Posted in FML issue 1298]