OK, BIG--Its you and me at Disneyworld, but you gotta set in the front on
the log ride, and I get in first for Star Tours.
 
I'll be in New Orleans next week, so if I don't answer any mail, you know
why. In the meantime, I'll try to answer as many as possible.
 
I was asked if ferrets were smarter than dogs or cats.  Yipes!  In truth,
they are apples, bananas and oranges, and I am reluctant to compare them.
I've read several reports that ferrets are as smart as small primates when
it comes to problem solving, which would make them better problem solvers
than dogs or cats.  I think dogs are more socially oriented than ferrets, so
they respond better to training, but then I've yet to hear of a training
program established for ferrets, so who knows how well it would go.  Ferrets
seem to have a better long-term memory than either dogs or cats, but not by
much.  Short-term memory appears about the same.
 
So its a toss-up.  Its easier to get a dog to do something, but ferrets are
probably smarter.  And before I get flamed, there is a lot of variation in
individual intelligence, so I'm sure some people have dogs smarter than the
average ferret, and others have cats smarter than dogs (yeah, right).  In my
own 13, Stella is cute, but she's dumber than dirt, and the smartest guy,
Apollo, won't come for nothing.  [He *IS* smart! BIG] My smartest ferret is
Daye, who is smarter than any dog I ever met.  You can watch her figure
things out, push things over to the table, climb up, and push the drink to
the floor.  The SO (sorry PawPaw, just habit--but meant respectfully) asked
why I just sat there and watched, and I replied that I was spell-bound by
the sight.  In a hypnotic state.  Only the intelligent can hypnotize others.
 
I had another question regarding dominance.  Yes ferrets have a heirarchial
dominance structure, but not like chickens with a linear pecking order.  The
best I can tell from experience, and from reading, is that they have one of
those weird structures where ferret A might be dominant over ferret B, who
is dominant over ferret C, but ferret C is dominant over ferret A.  Several
ferrets may band together to exert dominance over other ferrets, especially
the big guys, but is is rare.  Males might be dominant over females, but
that changes sometimes when the female has a litter, or is fixed (as in the
case of a submissive yearling female who had a "Go! Nads!" surgery).
 
So a new ferret has to find his/her place with each one in the group; and
that can cause the entire group to go through the proceedure yet again.  The
more aggressive fights do not necessarily mean the new guy is fighting the
top dog; usually it means the two are fairly equal in rank, and the hard
fight is required to sort things out.  (It can also mean the other thing as
well, but often the head honcho is so big and mean they only have to perform
a symbolic fight to get their way.) Unless the hierarchy is disturbed by the
death/removal/addition of a ferret, it remains fairly stable for long
perioods of time, with only the occasion assertion of rights.  I do know of
one case where two neutered males were about equal, and fought for
years--not everyday--but often.  That's the only case I've heard of that is
so extreme.  One cool thing I've noticed is the ferrets recognize each
other's fighting sounds, and when a fight occurs with individuals close to
their rank, they run to see who wins.  Often, they jump in as is to say,
"You beat him, but you still have to reckon with me, sucker..."
 
A third question related to the last one was can ferrets kill each other in
these fights.  Well, ferrets can and do kill each other from time to time,
but it is usually unneutered hobs fighting for a female in heat.  Fighting
for females is a dangerous activity.  Even if females aren't present , hobs
can put up one hell of a battle.  For this reason, it is recommended that
males not to be used for breeding be fixed; otherwise kept apart.
 
However, the typical ferret (in the USA) is fixed, and often housed with
others.  Normal dominance fighting can be loud, can look nasty, and can even
leave small holes in the neck that scab up and feel nasty when you pet them.
But they are rarely dangerous.  If you break them up, it only postpones the
inevitable; they _WILL_ fight until they establish their own dominance
heirarchy.  I let them go at it until a) someone sprays, and then its
bathtime, b) its in a stalemate, and c) one is really getting its butt
kicked.  But breaking it up doesn't solve anything; soon their back at it
again.  And just because a ferret seems to be the loser doesn't mean they
are ready to quit.  Last night Tori was picking on Foster, who finally got
fed up and latched down hard on her neck, drawing blood.  Well, Tori stunk
up the house, got a bath and some calming time, and was put down, only to
search all over the room until she found Foster, and agian they went at it.
It finally ended with Foster chasing Tori all over the front room until she
hid in the dryer tube, snapping at him out the opening.
 
Sometimes I offer treats to break up the fight, which works well with all of
them, but again, it only postpones the fight.  It took my 13 about a month
to finally work things out, but there is still a fight about every other
day.  One last thing.  The skin over the ferret's neck has, through normal
evolutionary processes, become quite thick and tough.  In the accounts I
have read about one male hob killing the other, the killing bite wasn't to
the neck, but to the base or back of the skull.  The neck might get a bit
scabby, but my hand generally has scratches on it as well, and I'm in no
danger of death, and the skin of my hand didn't evolve for dominance
fighting.  Clean the neck and things should be just fine.  But if you want
the fights to stop, then let them fight it out.  And, as hard as it seems,
try not to feel sorry for them and break it up before one decides the other
is boss.  I know you are afraid that one will be hurt or killed; just watch
them closely, and you can tell when it gets really nasty.  In time, all
fights will pass.
 
And just to show I do have a heart, I always pick up the loser and comfort
them, and tell them about the times I've lost dominance struggles (usually
with the SO).
 
Bob and the 13 Heirarchial Dominators
[Posted in FML issue 1529]