Greetings!  Junior Lance Corporal Smudge here.  This is my first post.  We
have no, I repeat no, Felines here.  I personally maul anyone who even
smells like one.  Don't like 'em.  There is one Canine in residence, but she
offers no threat.  She tries to incapacitate me and my troops by smacking us
on the head or holding us down and licking us, but we manage to valiantly
fight her off.  In retaliation, we sneak up and chomp her in the tuckus when
she's sleeping on the floor!
 
I overheard my person talking to someone the other day about the four of us
fuzzbeans, and she said something I thought I should pass on.  There is
something all FLO members should definitely have that we don't already, 'cos
my person said if we had 'em, we would really create chaos.  I have never
heard of these things and don't know where to get 'em, but somebody out
there must know.  So...these things are called *opposable thumbs*.  We gotta
get these things!!!  I don't know where to find them or how much they cost
or what they look like or anything, but we need 'em!!!  Now!!!  If anyone
has any information about these vitally important items, mail me
immediately.  I will muster the troops and we will obtain them somehow.
This should be given highest priority!  The implications are mind-boggling!
My troops and I will wait for instructions.  Signing off...
 
Junior Lance Corporal Smudge "I rassle, therefore I am"
Senior Agent Willow "I'm very small, I need more raisins"
Special Agent Cricket "I must climb-higher, higher"
Private Jazzmyn "I just need a tummy-rub"
[Posted in FML issue 1503]