Dear FML - There is never in this lifetime a good time to loose a ferret,
but loosing a beloved pet during the Holidays is especially hard.  My heart
goes out to you John on the loss of Buddy and to you Kit on the Loss of
Lazar and to you Kelleen as I worry about your little one.  And to all
others who have had recent losses or are now dealing with a precious ill
baby.  So many of my friends have lost ferrets this year that I truly do not
believe I know of anyone who has not felt the pain of loss.  Many who
subscribe to the FML have not written about their losses.  It is so hard.
And so sad.  I, too, know the pain, having lost three very loved ferrets
this past summer within weeks of each other..
 
Santa gave me the flu for Christmas, getting sick on Christmas eve, and
today just coming into work for a brief time, I also picked up on back
issues of FML and my mail.  While I was down and out running high temps at
times, it is odd how much I thought about my lost Shadow, Dusk and Zoe.
And, of course, my thoughts were with others who had also lost their dear
ones.
 
There are not adequate words to convey the sheer grief I feel for all of our
losses.
 
Although Shadow and Dusk were granted long lives, this does not mediate the
grief.  But loosing Zoe was the hardest.  She was only nine months old and
all the great medical heads around could not save her.  Nor will we ever
really know what took her.  Bruce Williams path report was inconclusive.
Sometimes there just are not clear cut answers for a loss -- and many of us
have experienced this and it makes the loss harder to accept.
 
John, please, please do not blame yourself for what happened to Buddy.
Whether he was sick for a while before you noticed, would not have changed
the outcome.  I have been this road too.  Even though I was assured I picked
up on Zoe's illness pretty fast - I still wonder if maybe.......but I know
it would not have changed the outcome.
 
You fought hard for Buddy, John.  There was nothing else to do.  You loved
him and cared for him as if he were your child; and there is not greater
love than what we have for our children.  There is no doubt in my mind but
that you are a fine and loving individual with a wealth of compassion, and a
great heart and soul that showed to us all in your description of how you
cared for Buddy, by the manner in which you did, after his passing.  I weep
for your loss.
 
I am going to give you advice that I have shared with others, including
members of FML on suffering a loss.  And I know I am right.  And some may
write you this also.  Although no ferret can ever replace the one you have
lost, getting another ferret now, will help you deal with the loss.  There
are so many ferrets that need loving homes like you can provide.  Acquiring
a ferret when you are in the midst of grief is sometimes extremely difficult
to contemplate.  However, and I speak from experience, a new ferret (or two)
will help distract you from the pain of your loss.  Caring for a kit or an
adoption, enjoying the new experiences, dealing with the introductions to
other ferrets in the family and the plain joy of a new one - will just plain
help.  And the newcomer may help your two and distract them from grief over
Buddy.  And ferrets do grieve.  There is not a doubt in my mind that I lost
Shadow so quickly after Dusk, in part to grief.
 
And remember this.  We never truly loose the ones who have gone from us.
For as long as we live, so do our ferrets, gone from us in body, but not in
spirit.  For as we carry their memory with us in our mind and in our hearts
they live, and are with us always and forever.  They are a part of us.  And
I know, deep inside, that someday we will meet our beloved pets when we,.
too, cross that Rainbow Bridge.
 
Love, Meg
P.S. My losses this summer pushed my population from 15 to 17 ferrets. Sigh.
[Posted in FML issue 1428]