Indicators that you might want to chose another Vet:
 
1) When you hand him your ferret, he asks uncomfortably, "Monkey?"
 
2) Big sign in waiting room:  No Pets Allowed!
 
3) Diploma looks a lot like menu from Chinese restaurant.
 
4) He wants to test ferret bald spots for traces of Nair.
 
5) Has e-mail address for Meg's Maudlin-in-a-Minute Eulogy Express printed
on the receipts.
 
6) Sends you a card:  "Time for your ferret's annual neutering."
 
7) You hear a faint "Eeny Meeny Miney Moe" near the drug cabinet.
 
8) He has a lot of posters sponsoring cockfights.
 
9) Tells you about the big boat he's going to buy before giving you the
diagnosis.
 
10) He wears Elizabethan collars around the office.
 
11) He offers prizes to guess your animal's weight.
 
12) The receptionist tells you what the surgical special of the day is.
 
13) The Vet Techs wear muzzles.
 
14) Plays Heavy Metal music in the intensive care area.
 
15) Keeps Tarot cards in Path. Lab.
 
Disclaimer:  I hyperventilate to semi-consciousness before posting.  Not
only do I not read the stuff, it's all I can do to flail spastically at the
keyboard.  Spell and Grammar checks are solely responsible for making sense
of the mess.  This does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my employer, my friends, or my ferrets; don't quote me on that;
don't quote me on anything; words are subject to change without notice;
jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual or
fictional persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental;
statements are not verified to prevent lies; hand wash only, tumble dry on
low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary;
void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; reader assumes full
liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; no shoes, no shirt
 - no service; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them
yourself, but return to an authorized service center; parental advisory -
text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental
guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; some
assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold
separately; wear proper safety equipment during use; do not use if the
safety seal is broken; refrigerate after opening; for external use only; if
a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only
with proper ventilation; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling
fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not place near flammable or
magnetic source; no animals were harmed; if ingested, do not induce
vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a doctor; comments are ribbed for
your pleasure; must be 18 to enter; some settling may occur during
transmission; other restrictions may apply.  If something offends you,
lighten up and move on.
 
   ( )--(a)
   (@=@=) \      The eulogy - HATED IT!  Sappy & Gratuitous (Had
   O__)  \ \___   100's of messages requesting that comment)
      \   \
      /\ * )  \    Till next time.......Rudy on Films
[Posted in FML issue 1282]