Well, I was in the military at one time myself, MP for a matter of fact.
Leave it to good old Uncle Sam to come up with a bonehead idea that ferrets
are "tamed wild animals".  But I think they have more to do or worry about
than sending the MP's door to door on ferret raids.  Are you by any chance
a first year 2nd lieutenant?  I hope not, cause then you'll really need
help.  Here's your choices:
 
1 - Keep the ferret under "Top Secret" cover.  Don't mention the
    existence of the alien to anyone.
 
2- Move the hell off base.  No one, not even the military, says you have
   to live on base.  Sure it might be a little more expensive, but it's
   better.  Unless, of course, your're stationed in Bosnia.
 
3.  Get out of the military.  It sucks anyway, and chances are you'll
    be making more money.
 
Sincerely...
[Posted in FML issue 1237]